Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I are in our late-teens and we recently learned that I am pregnant.

We have a lot to deal with but we are doing our best to handle this situation that neither of us really feel ready for. We both have great families and they are supportive.

We saw my boyfriend’s sister last weekend, and she told me that she wants to go with us to our doctor appointment so that when we learn the gender of our child she can then host a “gender reveal” party. (She is married and has a child.)

I know that some parents do this, but I don’t think I want to do it.

Should she come with us to the appointment? Should we let her do this?

– Nervous

Dear Nervous: No – and no.

You and the baby’s father should go to these appointments. If you would like more support at an appointment, you could invite her or another family member, but this invitation should come from you – not the other way around.

Establishing respectful boundaries can be a tough job. But this is the beginning of your life as parents, and you have the right and responsibility to develop good boundaries and good judgment about what you believe is best for you and your child.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.