Alabama News

This is an opinion column

Politicians mislead. Math reveals truth.

DC Republicans recently passed a host of budget cuts, including trimming spending for National Public Radio and PBS, which includes Alabama Public Television.

As expected, the left moans and wails and cries, “The sky is falling!” in every media outlet they can access.

What is the truth?

Symbolically: The cuts are a big deal.

Substantively: The cuts are miniscule.

Huge Symbolism

DC Republicans already hurt America, and risked their own primary re-elections, by voting to increase America’s debt ceiling by $5 trillion and increase America’s debt by $3.4 trillion via “The Big Beautiful Bill.” They already passed a budget that calls for $7 trillion more debt during President Trump’s term and $19 trillion more debt over the next decade.

Hence, Republican incumbents crave something, anything, to market themselves as less financially irresponsible than they really are.

This brings us to the Recissions Act of 2025, known as HR 4, which will ”rescind $9.4 billion in unobligated funds that were provided to the Department of State, the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), various independent and related agencies, and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.”

So Alabama’s GOP Congressional delegation spins HR 4 to project a somewhat deceptive debt-cutting image. They loudly proclaim HR 4 eliminates “bias media handouts”; “cuts waste, fraud and abuse;” stops federal funding of race and sex discrimination; keeps DOGE cut promises, and the like.

All are talking points to help win GOP primaries.

But do these talking points paint an accurate picture?

Paltry Substance

The math pierces the GOP’s debt-cutting mirage and reveals HR 4’s $9.4 billion cut, in the context of America’s overall financial picture, is inconsequential.

America’s debt is $36.7 trillion. The math ($9.4 billion divided by $36.7 trillion) says HR 4 cut roughly 1/40th of 1% of America’s debt! Scoring 1/40th of one point is a failing grade on anyone’s report card.

America’s FY 2024 deficit was $1.8 trillion. America’s 2025 deficit through June is $64 billion worse than FY 2024’s pace. The math ($9.4 billion divided by $1.8 trillion) says HR 4 cuts this year’s deficit by roughly half of 1%! That doesn’t even begin to alter America’s bankruptcy trajectory.

The GOP’s budget (supported by all Alabama DC Republicans) is expected to increase America’s debt by $7 trillion during Trump’s presidential term. The math ($9.4 billion divided by $7 trillion) says HR 4 cuts America’s 4-year deficit by roughly 1/10th of 1%!

The same GOP budget is expected to increase America’s debt by $19 trillion over the next decade. The math ($9.4 billion divided by $19 trillion) says HR 4 cuts America’s 10-year deficit by roughly 1/20th of 1%!

Sigh. HR 4 simply doesn’t come anywhere close to solving America’s debt crisis and should not be portrayed as such.

History is a great teacher

Those who ignore history do so at their own peril. And the history of national bankruptcies is horrific.

The 2016 Greek debt crises ushered in 27% unemployment, worse than America suffered at any time during the Great Depression.

In Cyprus’s 2013 debt crises, the Cyprus government confiscated 30-40% of citizens’ checking and savings accounts to help pay off central government debt. Confiscation. The government forcefully taking citizen savings. Citizens could not stop it. Can Americans handle that?

Venezuela’s debt crises caused 800% hyper-inflation in 2016, an inflation rate that means a gallon of milk that cost $2.50 last year, costs $20 a gallon this year, and costs $160 a gallon next year. Can Americans afford that?

Do Americans want similar disruption and poverty?

Americans better get prepared because that’s where America is headed unless voters demand and get better DC politicians.

Republicans Are Bad; Democrats Are Worse

While this column focuses on Republican financial mismanagement (and rightfully so since Republicans control Congress and the White House), I would be remiss if I did not emphasize that Democrats’ debt junkie record is, sadly, even worse.

As paltry as HR4’s $9.4 billion in spending cuts are compared to America’s overall finances, not a single Democrat, not one, voted for HR 4. Not One!

Alabama Democrat Terri Sewell? Rep. Sewell not only voted against a relatively small $9.4 billion spending cut; she also used HR 4 to attack Republicans.

Alabama freshman Democrat Shomari Figures? While with less fanfare, Rep. Figures also voted against HR 4.

DC’s debt junkie Democrats have repeatedly, for decades, insisted on even more spending, even more debt. It’s as if Democrats want an American national bankruptcy!

Democrats remind me of former Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel’s insistence that, “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste. And what I mean by that [is] it’s an opportunity to do things that you think you could not do before.”

Sadly stated, and as repugnant as it may seem, it appears Democrats want to cause a national bankruptcy because they see it as an opportunity to replace free enterprise with socialism (plus do a lot of other bad things conservatives abhor.) Democrats seem to believe the citizenry will, in a national bankruptcy setting, be so desperate that the public will try anything. Even bad things that make matters worse.

To a conservative, that’s frightening.

Takeaways

As much as I hope more necessary spending cuts will pass Congress, the outlook is not good. Already GOP Senators like Mississippi’s Roger Wicker warn, “Let’s not make a habit of this.”

In any event, ballyhooed cuts are meaningless if they are offset by even higher spending elsewhere.

Do you want to know if your senator or congressman is a debt junkie? The best way to find out is by going to https://www.senate.gov/index.htm or https://clerk.house.gov/. These web sites reveal all recorded floor votes cast by all senators and congressmen. These web sites also reveal the language and financial cost of all bills voted on.

Another way to determine who the DC debt junkies are is by looking at the news releases of your senators and congressmen. If there is a news release boasting about HR 4 spending cuts, yet there are dozens of news releases crying “Look at me! Look at me!” and “I brought home the bacon” or “I spent money” on this, that or the other “wonderful thing”, then chances are you are represented by a debt junkie and should vote to replace him or her in the next election.

In essence, an interesting question to ponder is: “If neither political party will balance budgets, then why elect GOP debt junkie novices when you can elect Democrat debt junkie pros?”

Mo Brooks served on the House Armed Services Committee for 12 years and the Foreign Affairs Committee for 6 years.

For more than 30 years Vern Washington has been one of the most familiar faces on Mobile’s music scene. So it’s no surprise to see that community rally around him following a near-fatal health crisis – but what is surprising is just how epic an upcoming celebration promises to be.

As an online fundraising drive seeks to help with ongoing medical costs during Washington’s recovery, an upcoming benefit concert will feature the long-awaited reunion of one of the city’s most beloved rock bands of the past quarter-century, The Ugli Stick.

“It’s gonna be rowdy,” said Maggie Smith, co-owner of Soul Kitchen Music Hall, where the double reunion show will take place. (The opener will be Triple 40, and it’ll be the first show in a long time for them too.)

“It’s gonna be a bunch of old-school Dauphin Street people,” said Smith. “It’s gonna be a lot of fun.”

The reason for the effort is laid out in a GoFundMe drive organized by Smith:

If you’ve spent time in downtown Mobile, you’ve likely been greeted by the warm smile and steady presence of Vernon Washington. As Soul Kitchen’s long-time box office manager and the trusted security at places like Brickyard, Monsoon’s, Pat’s, and Callaghan’s, Vernon has been the quiet guardian of our good times for years.

Six weeks ago, Vernon was rushed to the ICU with congestive heart failure and placed on a ventilator for over a week. It was a frightening time — we came close to losing him. But through sheer strength and the grace of God, Vernon pulled through.

Now, he faces a long road to recovery. He won’t be able to return to work for months, and the medical bills, medications, and everyday expenses are piling up.

Washington goes way back. Smith said that in the early ‘90s he was working at Southside, a bar that was a precursor to Soul Kitchen at 455 Dauphin St. Similarly, Noell Broughton said he was working at Monsoon’s before Broughton bought that club around 1996.

Calling Washington “the quiet guardian of our good times” sheds some light on what makes him special. Smith also refers to him as “our protector of the riff-raff.”

His principal role was working the door, which means handling money, tickets, ID checks and the occasional problematic patron. It’s a job that can be handled with indifference or antagonism. Washington was known for handling it with grace.

“I mean, he’s one of the nicest, kindest people you’ll ever know,” said Broughton. “He was so perfect at the door because number one, he’s honest and number two, he’s so mild-mannered and even-keeled that he can defuse a situation. There’s just nobody better than him at the door. I mean, he’s just, he’s just a great guy. There’s not enough good things I couldn’t say about Vernon. On top of all that, he’s one of my dear friends, too.”

“Vern has taught me so much about music,” said Smith. “He’s a Prince fanatic like I am, and soul music and Isley Brothers, and he listens to every band we have. He remembers everybody. … Vern is one of my best friends and I don’t think friends really covers it. He’s our family. I can’t think of anybody who’s bigger a part of the downtown scene than Vern Washington.

There was a period after he fell ill when he was not expected to survive, she said. Broughton said Washington’s recovery is progressing well, though it may be a while before he returns to his familiar late-night gig. The online drive is about halfway to a $5,500 goal; proceeds from the benefit – backed by Soul Kitchen, Broughton’s venue the Brickyard, and Callaghan’s Irish Social Club – will bolster that.

On the musical side, participants say that plans for The Ugli Stick’s reunion came together almost instantly.

“When Maggie and I were talking about getting something together … she was like, ‘I’m gonna reach out to The Ugli Stick,’” Broughton said. He knew the members had been kicking the idea of a reunion around for years, but because they lived in different areas and had busy schedules, it hadn’t happened.

“But those guys jumped up quick. I mean, she called me right back and said, ‘They’re in.’” (Smith said the members of Triple 40 were similarly quick to answer the call.)

To understand the excitement generated by the words “They’re in,” it helps to know that from 2000 to about 2012, The Ugli Stick loomed large on Mobile’s sonic landscape. A musically ambitious rock band whose members appreciated the rhythmic complexity of the era’s hip-hop, the group had the talent to cover a crowd-pleasing swath of pop music, from Cameo, Digital Underground and Eminem to En Vogue and Sade.

The Ugli Stick grew from a power trio to a quintet, then settled in as a quartet. It released a series of albums, building a catalog of original material that reflected its members’ eclectic tastes. It built a following on the Southeastern college circuit. It played at BayFest and other regional festivals. It toured U.S. military bases in the Mideast. And for about a decade, it seemed just a break away from making the big time. When members finally called it quits and moved on, they left behind a lot of good songs and a lot of fans with fond memories.

“We’re pretty pumped,” said guitarist-vocalist Eric Erdman. “A reunion was in discussion for the past five years, you know what I mean? But everybody lives in different parts. Quintin and I both live in Mobile, but I’m never there, so we don’t even live in the same place, even though we do. Tim lives in Birmingham, Dale lives in Tennessee. And it was like, well, if we’re gonna get together and do this big reunion, we want to do it properly. We don’t want to get together and just jam, we want to play the songs, and that means two or three rehearsals in a row. So that means we gotta have a week together in one city, wherever that might be. And it was just logistically a nightmare. We all wanted to do it, we just kept putting it off.”

“I’ve known Vern since high school,” said Erdman. “I’ve known him a long time. He was a familiar face when we were first playing downtown, even before The Ugli Stick. And then everyone in The Ugli Stick knows him as well. And he was the door guy, but he was more than that. He’s a friend of all of ours, more than just somebody that worked at the venues. He became a part of the family early on. To the extent that when I wrote the song about Monsoon’s burning down, ‘Old Friend,’ I mentioned Vern in the song.

“When we heard he was in need, it wasn’t really a question. It was more like, ‘Hey, Vern needs us,’” Erdman said. “And everybody said, ‘Yep.’ There wasn’t even a slight second of pause. It was just like, ‘When are we doing it?’”

Erdman said the show will feature most of the players who contributed to The Ugli Stick legacy. It’ll feature the latter-day lineup of himself, founding drummer Tim Stanton, guitarist Dale Drinkard and bassist Quintin Berry. He said that Brian Graves – the band’s founding bassist, who produced the debut album “Beatdown” and who later switched to guitar, also will take part. Erdman said two who can’t make it because of scheduling conflicts are bassists Brandon Whigham and Jimbo Hart, who toured with the band before later joining Jason Isbell’s 400 Unit.

Since the end of The Ugli Stick’s run, Erdman has sustained a career as a singer-songwriter. Revisiting his older band catalog has been interesting, he said.

“There are things I wish I could go back and rewrite lyrically with my 19-year-old self,” he said. “It’s not like I’m ashamed of the songs. I’m proud of them. Some of this stuff is far more elevated than I gave it credit for at the time. Like, it’s even bigger than I remember, basically. … There were choices we made in the songs both lyrically and in the music that were wildly different than I would do now. Some of it I want to fix, but some of them, it’s magic. It’s the youthful exuberance, the youthful rock and roll spirit that only happens when you’re 19 to 25 years old, when you don’t know the rules, so you’re not scared to break them.”

It’s probably safe bet that the show will include beloved songs such as “Leaving Birmingham,” “So High” and “The D.I.P. Song.” But Erdman said it might also include songs that the band never released, back in the day. He said he wasn’t going to give away too much ahead of time.

“Basically, the set list is a mix of things we remember as being crowd favorites and then songs that we were extremely proud of, that we wanted to put in there,” he said. “So it’s a little self-indulgent. But hopefully it’s mostly crowd-indulgent.”

“I haven’t talked to one person yet that’s not going to be there,” said Broughton. “They’re gonna give the city what they want. … I mean, I’m not going to miss one note of that.”

A benefit for Vern Washington featuring reunion performances by Triple 40 and The Ugli Stick will begin at 8 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 2, at Soul Kitchen Music Hall, 219 Dauphin St. in downtown Mobile. Doors will open at 6 p.m. Advance tickets are $35.84 if ordered online through www.soulkitchenmobile.com. The event also will feature silent auctions and/or raffles.

Additionally, an after-party at the Brickyard, 266 Dauphin St., Lamont Landers and local artists will perform. Proceeds from that event also will benefit Washington.

This is an opinion column.

The United Football League smacked a wild bronco in the hindquarters with that leak earlier this week about yanking the Stallions out of Birmingham.

About maybe herding the iconic franchise from the womb that re-birthed spring football four years ago after a protracted and turbulent gestation?

About — how did y’all put it? — being in the “planning stages” for the 2026 season and the “unauthorized speculation” about four of the league’s eight franchises potentially high-tailing it to new horizons.

The very notion, the audacity, unleashed a stampede of reactions, not surprisingly. And justifiably.

Why might the UFL euthanize a franchise that three-peated in the spring football championships, a franchise whose fans regularly generated the highest television ratings of any team in the league?

Well, we don’t exactly know because the UFL hasn’t articulated the criterion it’s using to determine these next moves. At least not publicly — not to city officials and seemingly not even to its own people since the Stallions are out here touting 2026 season ticket sales.

So right now, I’ll just say this: The Stallions deserve to saddle up again right where they are — in the heart of this football-crazed oasis.

They deserve to stay in Birmingham because without Birmingham, there may not have been spring football. The city incubated all eight teams from training camp through the inaugural season of the United States Football League, which merged with the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson-hyped XFL in 2024 to create the UFL.

They deserve to stay in the region whose citizens have invested $4.2 million in the Stallions through the city, Jefferson County and the Greater Birmingham Convention & Visitors Bureau.

They deserve to stay, if for no other reason than the raucous Horsemen, that wonderful band of salivating Stallions faithful who donned maroon and gold, waved flags, and screamed “giddy-up” more than Gene Autry and Roy Rogers combined.

“They out here destroying the only good thing spring football has ever had,” Horsemen leader Chase Newton shared on social media, reacting to the buzz that the franchise might be horse-traded elsewhere. “The Stallions are spring football.”

No shade to the cities reportedly on your moving list, but the Boise Stallions? That bronco will buck all night.

I get this: Herding the Stallions out of town might make sense to the television execs (Fox Sports/ESPN) and private equity types (RedBird Capital Partners) who own the league — if the number of tushes in seats is their key criteria. They’re good folks with all the best intentions. Folks who want the UFL to work. To succeed.

To make a profit. That’s not a bad thing, though it’s a bit of a paradigm shift. In the early USFL seasons, majority owner Fox Sports said the primary aim was to fill the yawning void of spring sports programming with catnip for craving football fans. Those eyeballs would drive advertising revenue. That was the win-win.

Now, game-day ghost stadiums weren’t pretty; they didn’t make for stellar television. But filling brand spankin’ new Protective Stadium — still one of the league’s most pristine venues — was then just a hope, not a priority.

Still, a pack of Stallion faithful trotted to games. Fans were intergenerational — parents who rooted for the Stallions that roamed for three seasons (1983-1985) and their children. Many were local college students seeking to build their own affinity with the franchise. Others hailed from a Birmingham community proud of a pro team they called their own.

Crowds grew a bit sparse this past spring, however. Scheduling (the final two regular-season home games were played at 11 a.m. on Mother’s Day and Sunday of Memorial Day weekend) and spring’s almost-constant (or threat of) rain didn’t help lure fans from their comfy couches and big screens at home.

Still, the franchise was not a box-office bust. It was sixth in announced attendance, even better in ticket revenue.

If everyone’s being honest, maybe the UFL and Stallion faithful began to take each other somewhat for granted.

After the merger, league headquarters moved to Arlington, Texas, leaving a paucity of front-office personnel in the area to maintain relationships with fans or court corporate support. You know us, Birmingham: If you’re not here, you ain’t here.

Moreover, the team wasn’t even in the city. Players were housed in Arlington and flown in for games. It was like after being spring football’s first love, we were ghosted. So, it’s easy to see why some fans’ giddy-up may have waned.

Corey Helvey, former UFL director of ticket sales in Birmingham shared on social media: “Could’ve been a high attendance market if handled differently.”

So, now, UFL, if filling seats at Protective is your key move-or-not-move marker, give Birmingham a chance to saddle up and show up.

Give it a chance by investing in a local sales and marketing team that will re-engage the resident and corporate communities.

Give it a chance by housing the players here, allowing them to engage with our youth and families at local schools and community events, to shake hands with potential partners, and to share their journeys and dreams with my media colleagues.

Stallions wide receiver Davion Davis said on X: “No team to fan interaction. Players aren’t able to build that relationship with fan base.”

Give Birmingham what it deserves — a chance to ride again.

Let’s be better tomorrow than we are today. My column appears on AL.com, and digital editions of The Birmingham News, Huntsville Times, and Mobile Press-Register. Tell me what you think at [email protected], and follow me at twitter.com/roysj, Instagram @roysj and BlueSky.

At 6:23 a.m. on Saturday, the National Weather Service released a dense fog advisory in effect until 10 a.m. for Monroe, Conecuh, Butler, Crenshaw, Escambia and Covington counties.

The weather service says to be ready for, “Visibility one quarter mile or less in dense fog.”

“Low visibility could make driving conditions hazardous,” comments the weather service. “If driving, slow down, use your headlights, and leave plenty of distance ahead of you.”

Guidance from the weather service for navigating foggy conditions

If a dense fog advisory is issued for your area, it means that widespread dense fog has developed and visibility often drops to just a quarter-mile or less. These conditions can make driving challenging, so exercise extreme caution on the road, and if possible, consider delaying your trip.

If you must venture out in foggy conditions, keep these safety tips from the weather service in mind:

Reduce speed:

Slow down and allocate extra travel time to reach your destination safely.

Visibility priority:

Ensure your vehicle is visible to others by using low-beam headlights, which also activate your taillights. If available, employ your fog lights.

Avoid high-beams:

Refrain from using high-beam lights, as they create glare, making it more difficult for you to see what’s ahead of you on the road.

Maintain safe gaps:

Maintain a significant following distance to account for abrupt stops or shifts in traffic patterns.

Stay in your lane:

Use the road’s lane markings as a guide to staying in the correct lane.

Visibility near zero:

In cases of near-zero visibility due to dense fog, initiate your hazard lights and locate a secure spot, such as a nearby business parking area, to pull over and come to a halt.

No parking options:

If there is no parking lot or driveway to pull into, pull your vehicle off to the side of the road as far as possible. Once you come to a stop, turn off all lights except your hazard flashing lights, set the emergency brake, and take your foot off of the brake pedal to be sure the tail lights are not illuminated so that other drivers don’t mistakenly run into you.

By adhering to these precautions from the weather service, you can navigate foggy conditions more safely, reducing the likelihood of accidents and ensuring your personal safety.

Advance Local Weather Alerts is a service provided by United Robots, which uses machine learning to compile the latest data from the National Weather Service.

DEAR ABBY: How does one overcome a fear of heights? I have had it from the time I was a little girl. There was a bridge I had to cross walking home from school. I had to look down at my feet to cross it.

I recently purchased a condominium on the 16th floor in a high-rise building. I love the view, but I’m too afraid to walk out on my balcony. How do I overcome this? — UP HIGH IN GEORGIA

DEAR UP HIGH: You are far from the only person who has a fear of heights. Consider installing some waist-high plants in front of the patio railing. This may allow you to enjoy your view without your knees wobbling. If you try this, DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY DOWN. (I speak from experience.)

Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

The end of the offseason is finally in sight. Alabama football will begin preseason camp ahead of its Aug. 30 season-opener at Florida State on Wednesday.

Entering the second season of Kalen DeBoer’s offensive system, the Crimson Tide brought in Ryan Grubb to take over as offensive coordinator this season. As UA prepares for the start of camp, here are three questions for the Tide offense to answer before the FSU game.

Who’s starting at quarterback?

The obvious answer is Ty Simpson. After spring practice, Ryan Grubb said the redshirt junior would be the starter if the season started that day, something DeBoer reiterated at SEC media days in July.

“Ty throws a catchable ball,” DeBoer said. “He’s smart. He’s been in college football now going into year four. He’s seen the ups and downs. He’s got great relationships with the team. He’s a leader that way. He’s really owned things on another level.”

DeBoer has said he’d like to have a starter in place a week-and-a-half before the season begins. If Simpson shows out early in camp, it could come earlier than that, even if Alabama opts not to publicly announce it.

Still, Austin Mack and Keelon Russell remain involved, even with Simpson clearly the frontrunner. DeBoer spoke highly of both of them during his media days press conference.

“Austin Mack, if you walked in here, the guy is 6′6″, 230, 235 (pounds),” DeBoer said. “He has a presence about him. That carries over to how he throws the football. Just really took his most meaningful snaps in college this spring working with the ones and twos.

“Keelon Russell, you never would have guessed, a lot of guys graduated from high school a month ago, really a high school senior, early enrollee, that came in and learned the system of college football, taking these huge strides in the course of the spring. Now again, getting that install over and over again in the summer, going into the fall. I’m confident he’s going to make big jumps as well.”

How will the offensive line come together?

Some of the pieces on Alabama’s offensive line seem ready to make the jump from good to great. Center Parker Brailsford and left tackle Kadyn Proctor are both popular names on preseason All-America lists, and Jaeden Roberts is expected to have a solid season at right guard as well.

Two spots will be turning over. At one, the right tackle position, Wilkin Formby is likely to take over the starting role, which he held early in 2024 before struggling and losing it to the departed Elijah Pritchett.

Formby looked improved when he saw action late in the season, and coaches have said he continued the trend through spring practice. His development will be key for the Crimson Tide, especially with a new quarterback to protect, one without the speed of Jalen Milroe.

“The offensive line is where it really starts,” DeBoer said. “Really six guys that are strongly in the rotation with a lot of others that are up-and-coming, developing quickly, that I can see competing for spots as the season goes along as well.”

The competition seems to be at left guard, where UA must replace Tyler Booker. Returnee Geno VanDeMark and Texas A&M transfer Kam Dewberry will battle for the starting spot. Can one of them fill the shoes of the departed first-round NFL Draft pick?

Which wide receivers can provide key depth?

The top of Alabama’s wideout depth chart is obvious. Ryan Williams is back, now legally able to buy a lottery ticket provided he takes that business across state lines.

Germie Bernard also returns, after leading the Crimson Tide in receptions last year, his first in Tuscaloosa. Finally, Isaiah Horton will round out the starting group, offering a deep threat after transferring in from Miami this offseason.

Behind them though, Alabama has some talent. Who steps up and forces their way onto the field will be an interesting camp storyline.

Jalen Hale is back, after suffering a significant leg injury and missing the entire 2024 season. He contributed in 2023, and will try to earn major playing time this year.

Rico Scott and Cole Adams are also returning, along with Jaylen Mbakwe, who moves over from cornerback for 2025. The freshmen group includes Lotzier Brooks, one of the top youngsters during spring practice.

With so much talent at the top, Alabama might not need very much from its depth wideouts. However, if one or more of them emerges, it could take even more pressure off of Williams in particular, which only helps the Crimson Tide offense.

Long-held personal and political animosity between a Birmingham-area mayor and his most visible critic will not be settled at a local restaurant lunch table after all.

Plans for a live-streamed lunch summit between Tarrant Mayor Wayman Newton and activist Chuck Winborn are off just days after the meeting was proposed.

Newton Monday evening surprised many when he invited Winborn to lunch during a council meeting. It would be the first time the longtime rivals ever sat down at a table rather than sparring in the council chamber.

However, Winborn now says he will not meet with Newton.

“I’ve had no less than 15 people contact me, some I didn’t even know, who told me not to do it,” Winborn told AL.com. “There is nothing he can say to change my mind and I’m sure I’m not going to change his.”

Winborn had initially agreed to lunch with Newton’s condition that it be live streamed on social media and Winborn’s stipulation that a third-party witness also be present.

But the deal quickly eroded. Winborn remains adamant on illustrating Newton’s dramatic argument with a councilman in late 2022.

Winborn this week posted unaired video footage of an exchange between Newton and Councilman Tommy Bryant where the mayor used graphic sexual language to insult Bryant’s wife.

That video exchange occurred just before another showdown between the two men outside city hall that ended with Bryant slugging the mayor.

Bryant was later cleared of the assault charge.

On the other side, Newton told AL.com that his lunch invitation was a sincere offer, even if he was skeptical that it would occur.

“I extended the invitation to Mr. Winborn in good faith, with the hope of modeling something different for the city of Tarrant, that even in sharp disagreement, civility and honest conversation are still possible,” he said. “This was never about political points, no matter what some may claim. It was about showing that real leadership means reaching across the aisle, even when you know the hand may not be taken.”

The town of 6,000 is bitterly divided politically. The mayor and council spar regularly and citizens often voice their disapproval during council meetings.

The mayor has called Winborn a racist, while Winborn has described the mayor as disrespectful and vindictive.

Attorney Scott Morro, who represents Winborn and several other critics of the mayor, noted that Winborn is still a party in a lawsuit that seeks to impeach Newton, so he should not meet with him.

“Chuck Winborn, in his zeal to do what is best for the city of Tarrant, had a lapse in judgment in agreeing to meet with Mayor Newton for lunch,” Morro told AL.com. “Nothing good can come out of meeting with an antagonistic narcissist who has a pattern and practice of fabrication. As such, as his attorney, I have instructed him not to do so.”

The citizen-led lawsuit could be moot in about a month following city elections Aug. 26.

Morro also represents Winborn and several current and former employees who have sued Newton and the city on various personnel matters.

Winborn was arrested in April after posting police footage on his social media page. Winborn called the arrest an attempt to silence his activism, and the charges were quickly dropped.

Newton is seeking reelection. Winborn is supporting his opponent, Councilwoman Tracie Threadford in her challenge to the first-term incumbent.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 63-year-old woman who finds herself frequently told by strangers that she resembles a famous actress of similar age.

I don’t find this actress particularly attractive, and therefore don’t know what to say when someone makes the comparison. I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or merely an observation.

“Thank you” seems to imply I’m flattered (which I’m not), but I don’t want to express offense when none was likely intended. Is there another option for reply?

GENTLE READER: “Hmmm.” Uttered flatly with no question mark or inflection other than one that indicates, “That is something that you just said.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Dear Eric: I have two sons in their early 30s. Recently, my older son became engaged to a wonderful woman the same age, who I love as a daughter.

While our relationships are good, I have found that my desire for close family bonds has gotten stronger as I get older, especially in the past several years when I’ve been living several hours’ travel away from my blood family. I really want to keep an active interchange going with all three. At the same time, I don’t want to seem like Mama hanging over them.

How do I figure out the right frequency for casual texts, shares, etc.? What else can I do to stay part of their lives? I want to be a warm and welcome presence, not a drag.

– Boundary-Loving Mom

Dear Mom: This is such a lovely concern and because it’s rooted in love (and good boundaries), I suspect you have less to fear than you might think. What’s most important to remember is that you are an equal part of the mother-son relationship and you can ask for what you need.

Yes, your sons are continuing to expand and establish their lives, but you’re still a part of those lives. And, likely, a very welcome one at that. Good relationships thrive on clear, open communication. Sometimes that means calling, texting or visiting when you want to and letting them adjust the cadence as need be. Other times, that means having a conversation about what level of contact feels good for everyone involved. Maybe you’ll find that they aren’t big on texts but welcome phone calls, or vice versa.

You’re not a burden. And it will be easier for your sons to keep showing you their love if you let them know how life is changing for you, just as they’re letting you know how life is changing for them. Keep talking to them, keep listening to what they’re asking for and keep sharing what you need to feel loved and supported, as well.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

Dear Eric: Sarah and I have been friends for 20 years. In that time, our families have become close, even going on holiday together several times.

Initially, I was also a stay-at-home mom, like she is, but now I hold a job where I keep very long hours and am responsible for the welfare of more than a hundred very vulnerable people.

I have tried to keep in touch, even as my life has become busier, and it tends to fall to me to organize get-togethers.

In the last year, I have experienced the loss of a parent. Now I am supporting my remaining parent, who is in rapidly declining health, as well as paying bills and arranging home care. This requires frequent visits several hundred miles away. My husband has also had significant health concerns and has required a great deal of support. Sarah is aware of all of this.

Two months ago, I received a text from Sarah berating me for my lack of attention. She said that if we could make time for each other when the kids were small and life was busier, then she didn’t understand why I wasn’t making time for her now. Eric, my life has never been so busy!

I replied as kindly as I could, and offered several suggestions for us to catch up, including inviting her to my home for dinner. I have had no response since.

My instinct is telling me that this isn’t friendship, and that I should quietly walk away and focus on the many other worries and responsibilities that I have. Sarah is very volatile – she once cut me off for more than a year due to an imaginary slight. However, I really do care about Sarah, and I am worried that she is genuinely hurting.

Am I in the wrong here? Should I try again to reach out? Or do I accept that more than 20 years of friendship are now over?

– Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed: Trust your instincts. Sarah may, indeed, be hurting, but it isn’t because of anything you’ve done. Moreover, by taking that hurt out on you, she’s created chaos when what you need is care. She’s not being a good friend right now and I’m sorry for that because you need a friend. What you’re going through is incredibly tough and taxing. These periods in our lives require the empathy and active support of those who love us.

Though it’s unfair, take her recent silence as a gift. At some point, when you have more bandwidth, you may want to talk with her about how her behavior affected you. And I hope she’s able to make amends. But right now, focus your energy on people who can show up for you and help you carry your load.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.