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Asking Eric: Supervisor lied about sending letter of recommendation

Dear Eric: Several months ago, I saw a part-time position I wanted to apply for. I would also be able to keep a job I currently have if selected for the new position.

As part of the application process, I needed two references. I asked a current supervisor for one. I told her I would be able to keep working for her if chosen for the new position. She agreed to write the reference.

Roughly every two weeks in the time between her saying “yes” and the deadline, I would ask if she had any questions for me and/or had everything she needed to write the reference.

Then, a few weeks ago, and still ahead of the deadline, I asked for a copy of the reference so I could see what she thought my strengths and weaknesses were. She never acknowledged any of these emails. Now that the deadline for the position has passed, she has informed me that her reference may have gotten lost in cyberspace. I am feeling a wave of feelings and not sure of the right one to feel.

– Lost Reference

Dear Reference: I’m sorry this happened to you. There are plenty of explanations for what went wrong on your supervisor’s end, but I doubt any of them involve mysterious disappearances in cyberspace. That’s not really a thing. It sounds like she is either disorganized, flakey or didn’t actually feel comfortable writing a recommendation and didn’t want to tell you. All of these can make for a rocky working relationship going forward.

If you intend to keep working this job, it would be helpful to have a conversation about what she considers your strengths and opportunities without the reference hanging over the proceedings. Ideally, this would happen in a yearly or quarterly review setting, with another supervisor or Human Resources representative present.

If she secretly has reservations about the work you do, you should know about it so you can make informed decisions about your professional future. This could also be a good time to talk about communication styles and expectations as they relate to your job.

The initiative you took in getting the references and regularly checking in is commendable. You did everything right. The only thing I’d suggest for next time is to have a backup reference ready with enough time for them to jump in should your primary references not deliver.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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How Alabama football became one of nation’s leaders in takeaways under Kane Wommack

Alabama football defensive coordinator Kane Wommack learned the lesson years ago from his dad, Dave.

Takeaways are almost like muscle memory.

“You have to continue to preach it,” Wommack said. “You have to continue to drill it.”

So Wommack does, and he has. Again and again and again. As a result, the No. 7 Crimson Tide has become one of the nation’s best at taking the ball away from the opposing offense.

Alabama has grabbed at least three takeaways in five consecutive games. The Crimson Tide (8-2, 4-2 SEC) is averaging 2.4 takeaways per game, ranked No. 3 in the country.

That’s one more takeaway per game than a season ago (1.4 per game, which ranked 58th nationally). In 2022, Alabama averaged 1.1 takeaways per game. In 2021, 1.3. Even in 2020, the most recent national championship season, the defense averaged fewer takeaways: 1.7 per game.

Did Alabama coach Kalen DeBoer see this coming when he hired Wommack?

“Yeah, I did,” DeBoer said. “I think, with the nature of some of the things that he really liked to do, and I think this year for Kane there’s been a been a combination of trying to incorporate what you’ve done in the past, but also adjusting to your personnel and maybe where your strengths are with our defense right now.”

And creating a constant emphasis on takeaways.

Every practice, Alabama’s defense takes part in a takeaway circuit. Wommack said that started in spring ball then continued in fall camp and on Tuesdays and Wednesdays during practice during the season.

There are six different drills. Each one has a different point of emphasis. One might be interceptions. Another, punching the ball out. Another, raking at the quarterback. If there’s a way to take the ball away from the offense, Alabama’s defense is practicing it.

“What happens is, all of a sudden, you do those drills day in and day out, and then you go to scout-team periods and you say, ‘OK, this period right here, we’re not going to work on tackling, we’re going to work on punching the ball out. I don’t want to see any wrap-ups,” Wommack said. “All I want to see is you punching the ball out.‘”

If Alabama players aren’t doing it enough, Wommack will let them know. Loudly. That goes for interceptions, too.

“If we’re dropping too many picks at practice, he’ll get onto us for that too just because it’s money we’re leaving on the floor,” safety Malachi Moore said.

Buy-in from the players has been key. It’s not just about reps but also mindset. Alabama’s defense puts value on getting the ball.

“That changes the whole narrative of the game,” linebacker Jihaad Campbell said. “That gets the offense on the field to score points. That’s football right there. That shows grit. That shows toughness.”

A sack is good, but a strip sack is much better. A deflected pass is good, but an interception is better. A tackle for a loss is good, but forcing a fumble is better.

Wommack has drilled that, and the players have taken it to heart.

“When Domani Jackson comes off the edge on a corner fire, he thinks, ‘Oh, I have a chance to knock this ball out,’ and that’s the exact same drill he’s been doing for nine months now, is punching the ball in that exact moment,” Wommack said.

Consider it muscle memory.

Alabama has developed it, which became clear the past few games. Now, the Crimson Tide will look to further the takeaway success on Saturday (6:30 p.m., ABC) in Norman against Oklahoma.

“It’s becoming the identity of who we are as a team,” Wommack said. “That has to continue moving forward.”

Nick Kelly is an Alabama beat writer for AL.com and the Alabama Media Group. Follow him on X and Instagram.

General

Mashed potatoes: The essential Thanksgiving side dish

It should go without saying that Thanksgiving Day is not the time for experimentation.

It simply is not and this is not open to discussion.

The single biggest one-day eating extravaganza in the year is not the occasion to break out a new, untried recipe on your unsuspecting friends and family. You can whip up a batch of Aloo Matar Tikki later on after the guests have gone home and you have time to experiment in the kitchen.

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Casagrande: Trail of broken promises paint portrait of Sen. Tuberville hypocrisy

This is an opinion column.

Tommy Tuberville is about loyalty.

He believes in the value of a contract.

When someone signs their name to a piece of paper, looks you in the eye and makes a promise, dadgumit, that means something.

Kids these days.

It’s a shame they can’t honor those agreements. The Senator representing Alabama said that’s the biggest complaint he hears from his old coaching buddies. These college football players sign NIL deals with collectives and then … poof.

They’re gone.

No warning, no chance to change their mind.

So there’s a coach, bound by his employment contract, left high and dry because a better opportunity came along for one of his players.

These coaches can’t take much more disloyalty so they’re turning to a champion of integrity. After years of failed attempts to pass a national NIL law to tame the wild west of the free market created in 2021, Tuberville has some ideas for the Republican-led Senate when it gavels in come January.

Among them: Penalize those greedy athletes.

The first-term Senator spoke about it with a few reporters before speaking to the Monday Morning Quarterback Club in Birmingham this week. He mentioned the idea for “some kind of penalty” for players breaking NIL contracts during a long answer speaking in general about possible legislation.

It begged a follow up. So I asked the Senator what kind of penalties he had in mind. There were some hems and haws, talk of exemptions, but he was clear in his intentions.

“My thoughts are, you know, you sign a contract on NIL, I mean you can’t just up and break it,” Tuberville said. “I mean you gotta … you wanna sign a year, two-year, three-year, you got a three-year contract. If you break it, there’s gotta be some kind of penalty.”

Because contracts have always been sacred to Tuberville.

Like in 1998, when as the head coach at the University of Mississippi, rumors about other coaching jobs were swirling. On the Wednesday before playing the Egg Bowl on Thanksgiving, Tuberville told his weekly radio show audience he was committed to that program.

“They’ll have to carry me out of here in a pine box,” Tuberville said two days before a better contract at Auburn lured him to take the head coaching job there.

Yikes, bad example.

A former Tiger receiver recalled Tuberville’s commitment to program loyalty after arriving. Tyler Siskey, who went on to coach at multiple colleges around the southeast, spoke about the meeting he had with Tuberville this summer on a podcast he cohosts.

The coach told him if he planned on running out of that tunnel next year, he’d be doing that with the opposing team. A few weeks later, his roommate and a starting receiver learned through a radio news report his scholarship was being revoked after leaving practice, Siskey said.

Right, right, well that was more than 20 years ago.

Surely a misunderstanding or maybe Tuberville learned some lessons from these experiences.

After Tuberville *air quotes* resigned from Auburn in 2008 with a $5.08 million buy-out, he landed at Texas Tech. Quite a deal to exit a contract early but a fresh start nonetheless in west Texas. And Year 1 went well enough to get a five-season contract after finishing 8-5.

Two years later … oh boy.

A 5-7 season was followed by a 7-5 record and a need to regroup.

At Cincinnati.

The story Texas Tech recruits told placed Tuberville at a recruiting dinner on a Friday night when the topic of his long-term plans for the future was addressed.

Offensive line recruit De’Vonte Danzey told Wreckem247.com that Tuberville didn’t give much of an answer before excusing himself from the table. He never returned and the following morning, Tuberville was announced as the new head coach at Cincinnati and Denzey eventually signed at Auburn where he played from 2013-15. He’s now the offensive line coach at South Florida.

Years later, Tuberville told AL.com that recruiting dinner was “totally false,” but his old boss at Texas Tech explained some of the dynamic in play at the time.

“As recently as yesterday (Tuberville) looked me in the eye and gave me his commitment and dedication to Texas Tech football and leading this football program forward,” AD Kirby Hocutt told the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal the day Cincinnati announced it hired Tuberville.

A five-year contract at Cincinnati was more attractive.

Hmmmmm…

“My thoughts are, you know, you sign a contract on NIL, I mean you can’t just up and break it.”

Hmmmmm…

“… You got a three-year contract. If you break it, there’s gotta be some kind of penalty.”

Yeah …

Well, turns out Tuberville might not be the best voice of this integrity movement.

The Pin Box Act wouldn’t carry the weight of this former coach who transitioned seamlessly into the political arena.

That said, there’s room for legislation to streamline this unregulated world of NIL its relationship with recruiting and transfers.

Leading with the idea of protecting coaches and administrators from greedy athletes might not be the way to sell it.

And tapping Tuberville as the champion of contract integrity could be even dumber.

Michael Casagrande is a reporter for the Alabama Media Group. Follow him on Twitter @ByCasagrande or on Facebook.

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Ranking the all-time best 2-way players in Alabama HS football history

EDITOR’S NOTE: Each week, AL.com will explore the best of high school sports in Alabama. We hope you join the conversation.

The best player in college football today is likely Travis Hunter, who plays regularly on offense and defense for Colorado. But it’s incredibly rare for a player to be equally talented on both sides of the ball.

General

Dear Abby: Is it unreasonable to ask an somebody to send a quick text before dropping by?

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it’s unreasonable to ask an acquaintance/neighbor to send a quick text before dropping by? This neighbor lives within the same development I do. She is friendly enough, and we occasionally walk our dogs together, but she has a habit of coming by unannounced.

I was out one afternoon and noticed later while viewing my security camera that she had come by and brought with her another woman and the woman’s dog. I texted her and let her know that I saw that she had stopped by, and, in the future, I’d prefer she texted me before stopping over. Now she is offended and says she will “never stop over again.”

I saw her walk by my house recently and came out to speak to her. When I tried to talk to her, she held up her hand and said, “Don’t even speak to me!” I think this is childish and drama-filled. What do you think? — GROWN-UP IN OHIO

DEAR GROWN-UP: I agree with you. The woman overreacted to your text. This is one of the reasons I believe talking on the phone or face-to-face is a better way to communicate because there’s less chance of someone misconstruing a terse message and taking offense. As to her directive that you should not speak to her, take her up on it. Dropping in on someone with no warning is inconsiderate, bordering on rude.

Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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Happy landing: Coffee icon among changes coming to Huntsville International Airport

A Starbucks and a full-line kitchen are part of a “comprehensive upgrade” to dining and retail options coming to Huntsville International Airport.

The existing restaurant and bar will undergo a refresh, with a new decor scheme and an upgrade to the current short-order kitchen. The airport said travelers can expect “gourmet, made-to-order selections for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” with some ingredients sourced locally.

Wilmington, N.C.-based Tailwind Hospitality was awarded the 10-year airport concession contract in July.

General

Is it ‘dressing’ or ‘stuffing?’ The great Thanksgiving debate

If you’re like me – Southern born and (corn)bred – there really is no debate: That most delectable Thanksgiving dish is called “dressing.” Full stop. Over and out. Don’t let the screen door hit you.

But some people in other parts of the country call that same dish “stuffing.” So which should you use? Let’s discuss.

The difference, historically, was in how the dish was cooked. “Stuffing” means the dish made from hard bread, chopped celery and seasonings is “stuffed” inside the turkey and cooked, where the bird’s juices add liquid. “Dressing” is a side dish, cooked with added broth and served separately to accompany the bird. But that’s changed: Most health experts say it is no longer considered safe to cook the dish inside a turkey that starts out raw due to a risk of cross contamination and foodborne illnesses. That means stuffing is technically obsolete, but the word is still very much in use.

Ingredients-wise, they are the same dish – the only difference is that Southerners frequently substitute cornbread for the bread base. Still, many people use the words interchangeably whether it is inside the bird or out.

The word “dressing,” according to Dictionary.com, comes from the verb “to dress,” which has been used since the 1300s to mean “to prepare a food for cooking, often especially a bird (or other meat). It can also mean to season a dish,” leading to the term “salad dressing.”

People in the Victorian era thought “stuffing” was a potentially stomach-turning word, and therefore tacky, according to the Dictionary.com article. “In the 1800s, the word ‘dressing’ gained popularity in some areas of the U.S. as a word for the dish cooked inside a bird,” the article said. “The rise of this preference is theorized to be based in part on Victorian-era prudishness and a resulting movement away from more ‘graphic’ terms for food preparation. The idea is that the word ‘stuffing’ may not be so appetizing when you really think about it.”

Michelle Darrisaw wrote in an article for Food and Wine that the word was considered offensive.

“Our predecessors of peace, prosperity, and refined sensibilities apparently couldn’t stand behind such an offensively crude word as ‘stuffing,’“ she wrote. “Either way, it seems the South embraced the Victorians’ standards, while the North couldn’t be swayed.”

In 2017, Butterball – the turkey folks –released the results of a study on usage of the words. As you’d expect, use of “dressing” is more common in the South. But surprisingly, the study showed only eight Southern states use the word “dressing” more than “stuffing.” In Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee and Kentucky, “dressing” is preferred 62 percent to 38 percent. In Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas and Oklahoma, “dressing” is preferred 52 percent to 47 percent (the other percent is unaccounted for. Perhaps they say tur-dress-stuff or something).

In all other regions, “stuffing” beats the stuffing out of “dressing.” I could throw the entire discussion into a turkey-tailspin by mentioning some people in Pennsylvania call it “filling.” We’ll save that debate for later because … where would I even start?

Even Martha Stewart weighed in on the topic: “For me and much of the country stuffing is stuffing simply because of geography. Most northern states call the side stuffing regardless of preparation, while those south of the Mason-Dixon line call it dressing.”

For those still confused, I have a simple way to determine whether to use “dressing” or “stuffing:” If it comes from a box marked Stove Top, it’s “stuffing.” If it’s handmade by MeeMaw, it’s dressing. Either way, I’m going back for seconds.

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Philadelphia Eagles QB Jalen Hurts has ‘purpose behind every touchdown’

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts has a cool 12 touchdown passes and 11 touchdown runs this season – cool because the Jalen Hurts Foundation is donating $5,000 for every touchdown this season by the former Alabama quarterback to buy air-conditioning units at 10 School District of Philadelphia schools.

The TDs for ACs Campaign is an initiative of the Jalen Hurts Foundation that builds on an earlier donation. On April 19, Hurts donated $200,000 to purchase air-conditioning units for 10 Philadelphia schools.

Hurts talked about the program during an appearance on ABC’s “Good Morning America” on Tuesday.

“The main thing is always to go out there and win and do what you can to help your team win,” Hurts said. “But it extends an opportunity to not only get the fans engaged, but to have purpose behind every touchdown. And it was something that I really thought about, the foundation team thought about, and just trying to continue to foster the change that we already began coming into it. It was something so natural.

“I never watched the news. I’m always locked in and on to the next thing. But I caught one day, I caught that kids were, it was fall and it was rising temperatures in Philadelphia and the school district of Philadelphia had to cancel school because it was so hot, and they didn’t have the proper air-conditioning systems to keep the kids in school. And I mean, something so simple, I mean, but yet so challenging and so important.”

According to the school district’s five-year strategic plan released last year, more than 100 of its schools need air-conditioning installations or upgrades. The 10 schools helped by Hurts’ initial donation are among those that had early dismissals to deal with excessive heat in classrooms.

“The Jalen Hurts Foundation was something that began and was brought to light this year,” Hurts said, “but it was always in me to be impactful and of service in the community, whether I was at Alabama, Oklahoma and now Philly being my home. And so I just wanted to create something that really fostered mentorship to our youth, something that could help progress our youth and serve our youth. And there are multiple ways to do that, and it’s just been a fun process in that I’ve been able to give back.”

The Jalen Hurts Foundation also accepts donations to help with the TDs for ACs Campaign.

Hurts and the Eagles return to the field against the Los Angeles Rams at 7:20 p.m. CST Sunday at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California.

Philadelphia has won its past six games to reach 8-2 for the 2024 season. Hurts was asked if the Eagles would make it back to the Super Bowl this season. Philadelphia won the NFC championship in the 2022 season.

“Let’s take it one game at a time,” Hurts said. “It’s been a fun year. It’s been a lot of different things that we’ve had to overcome, and there’s so much more out there for us to do. And so we just want to take it a moment at a time. Hopefully, in that we can rack up these touchdowns for AC.”

FOR MORE OF AL.COM’S COVERAGE OF THE NFL, GO TO OUR NFL PAGE

Mark Inabinett is a sports reporter for Alabama Media Group. Follow him on Twitter at @AMarkG1.

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Dear Annie: Grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous

Dear Annie: I’m writing in response to your column about the woman whose marriage had become strained due to her husband’s drinking. Kudos for emphasizing that he needs Alcoholics Anonymous, but I’d like to encourage you to highlight the importance of Al-Anon for family members a bit more strongly than just one sentence.

Al-Anon has been a lifeline for countless family members of those struggling with alcoholism. It’s not just a place to heal; it’s a community where people can vent, relate, and share their struggles and solutions. The support offered in Al-Anon helps you realize that you’re not to blame for your loved one’s addiction. It teaches that the responsibility for change lies with the person struggling with alcoholism, and it gives family members the tools to navigate this challenging journey with compassion and strength.

I can vouch for this program 100% because it saved my life and even helped heal my marriage. The encouragement and insight I found through Al-Anon helped me set healthy boundaries and rebuild my sense of self during a very difficult time.

Thank you for considering this and for the compassionate advice you offer to your readers. — Power of Al-Anon

Dear Power of Al-Anon: Thank you for your letter and highlighting many of the insights that you learned in Al-Anon.

I’m so glad that you found healing through this wonderful group.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].