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Eric Rudolph manhunt podcast, Bruce Pearl and politics: Down in Alabama

We have an announcement over on the Down in Alabama podcast today. We’re going to talk about a new 8-episode podcast coming from AL.com called “American Shrapnel.” It’s all about the manhunt for 1996 Olympic Park bomber Eric Rudolph after he bombed a Birmingham abortion clinic. Columnist John Archibald and producer John Hammontree will join me on the DIA podcast to talk about “American Shrapnel” and some related experiences.

Today’s report follows.

Bruce Pearl’s political buzz

Something we haven’t mentioned here (because it’s been so far into buzz-and-rumor territory) is the speculation around Auburn basketball coach Bruce Pearl and that U.S. Senate seat that former Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville is leaving open.

Pearl’s frequent social-media posting about his support of Israel has grown into voicing support for President Trump and/or conservative issues. In fact, this off-season you’re more likely to see Pearl post about politics than basketball.

Pearl himself hasn’t indicated that he’s interested in the Senate seat. But he hasn’t seized an opportunity to slam the door shut on it, either. He didn’t respond to a request for comment from AL.com. He went on the podcast “One Jewish State,” was asked about it, and said “there is no news to be made” and “I care about these issues but I love Auburn and I love being Auburn’s basketball coach.”

That’s not exactly putting the topic to rest.

AL.com columnist Roy S. Johnson spoke with Auburn basketball legend Charles Barkley about the scuttlebutt. And it’s apparently come up between Pearl and Sir Charles.

Barkley told Johnson: “I respect and trust him. I just told him to do what he wants to do. Obviously, he’s made Auburn basketball relevant, which makes me happy. I said, ‘Hey, man, as much as I love you being the head basketball coach at Auburn, you taking Auburn to two Final Fours, something I never thought would happen, but I do understand.’

“If he wants to run, I’m gonna support him 100%.”

(Remember years ago when Barkley teased everyone by saying he was running for governor?)

It sounds like the Pearl thing is going to be a thing until Pearl is emphatic that it’s not anything. Or files to run.

More Rocket City to love

Huntsville’s city limits now covers parts of four counties, reports AL.com’s Scott Turner.

On Thursday, the city approved the annexation of about 1,014 acres south of the Tennessee River in Morgan and Marshall counties. Of course, Huntsville’s biggest area stretches across Madison and Limestone counties.

According to City Manager of Planning and Zoning Services Thomas Nunez, there’s only one single-family home on the land, and no more homes are planned.

Wiz Kidz LLC and the company that operates Smyrna Ready Mix Concrete LLC petitioned Huntsville to annex the land. It allows the city to regulate Smyrna’s quarry there.

This also means that Huntsville has annexed more than 1,600 acres this year and is now the 37th-largest city geographically in the nation. The Rocket City is roughly the size of Chicago and San Francisco.

About that Amber alert

You may have received an Amber Alert on your phone Thursday afternoon. It was for 3-year-old Jibreel Harun, who was missing out of Auburn, reports AL.com’s Carol Robinson.

He was found to be missing when police found the bodies of the child’s mother, 34-year-old Tyeisha Williams, and 13-year-old Zynniya Wright in their home in Auburn.

Police are looking for Aaron Dontay Williams, who is the husband of Williams and the father of young Jibreel. They said he’s not the father of the teenage girl.

Williams has a criminal history and ties to the Huntsville area. Police said he could be driving a gray 2010 Honda Accord. He’s a 6-foot-1, 240-pound 41-year-old Black male and described by police as armed and dangerous.

Crime Stoppers and the FBI are offering a $15,000 reward. If you have information call 911 or the Auburn Police Department.

Lowered flags

Gov. Kay Ivey authorized flags to be flown at half-staff through the weekend, reports AL.com’s Heather Gann.

The order, which ends at sunrise Monday, is to honor the victims of last week’s flooding in Texas Hill Country. Those victims include 8-year-old Sarah Marsh of Mountain Brook, who was one of 27 killed at Camp Mystic. Among the many who are still missing are Eddie Santana Sr. and his wife, Ileana, of Mobile, and their granddaughter 5-year-old Mila Rosa Santana.

More Alabama News

Born on This Date

In 1897, former Birmingham Commissioner of Public Safety Bull Connor of Selma.

In 1975, former NFL Pro Bowler Willie Anderson of Mobile.

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Inside Labaron Philon’s surprise return to Alabama basketball

On one end of the Facetime video call in late May was Labaron Philon.

On the call with him: Alabama men’s basketball assistant coach Preston Murphy. And Philon had a question for him.

What would you do if I said I was coming back?

“Labaron’s got a joker’s personality,” Murphy told AL.com Tuesday.

But Philon wasn’t joking. He made it official and announced publicly May 28, the night of the deadline for him to remove his name from the NBA Draft process and maintain his college eligibility.

“We were so excited,” Murphy said. “It was kind of like a shock. In my mind, he was gone.”

The door never fully closed on Philon returning to Alabama for his sophomore season. His public comments seemed to all but close the door completely. But as it turns out, the door always remained slightly ajar.

It was just a matter of would Philon actually step through it.

At first, Philon declared for the NBA Draft and did not publicly indicate he had maintained his college eligibility. But he had. The guard told ESPN he was “all in on starting my pro career” on April 14.

By April 29, he cracked the door open ever so slightly to a return to college.

“I would say 100% draft, but you know, things can change,” Philon said on The Schuz Show.

“You never know. But I would say I love ‘Bama. The whole program, the school, the state. It was all love when I was playing there. I never received any hatred or nothing like that. Walking around school and just being a regular kid again was mostly the most fun part for me. I’ll never take that for granted. But I’m all in on the draft right now because I feel like I want to be a pro. You never know what can happen. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

Then on May 14, Philon told ESPN he’s staying in the NBA Draft and answered “yeah” when asked if the door was closed on a return to Alabama.

Meanwhile, the Crimson Tide was trying to prepare for the 2025-26 season.

“We were preparing and constructing a roster that didn’t have him included,” Murphy said.

Alabama had pieced together most of its roster by that point, adding compelling talent via the transfer portal with the likes of Noah Williamson, Taylor Bol Bowen and Jalil Bethea. But the roster was still lacking at guard.

Alabama was actually set to play host to USC transfer guard Desmond Claude that weekend. Then Philon changed his mind.

“We were just ecstatic he’s back,” guard Houston Mallette said. “He’s going to help out the team a lot. I felt like that was the one position we really needed and were looking for.”

Mallette’s phone also rang one night in late May. He didn’t recognize the number, though. It was a group FaceTime call, though. Included on the video call he saw all the returners: Latrell Wrightsell Jr., Aden Holloway and Aiden Sherrell, plus one unknown number.

The unknown number: Philon’s. He had changed it. But that wasn’t the biggest surprise. No. The true surprise was he revealed his plan to return.

“I didn’t know he was coming back,” forward Aiden Sherrell said. “Coach kept it a secret from us. When we found out, we were super excited.”

As part of the call, Philon also had a message to send.

“His whole mindset when he came back, what he told us on the phone and told us in the locker room is we have unfinished business,” Mallette said. “We want to win the whole thing. We want to win it all. We feel like we came up short on our goals. That’s kind of the attitude of our locker room: We’re really hungry. I think he’s incredibly hungry. He’s going to do great.”

Nick Kelly is an Alabama beat writer for AL.com and the Alabama Media Group. Follow him on X and Instagram.

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What is Alabama’s best hidden gem BBQ joint? Here’s what you had to say

We asked you to tell us which Alabama barbecue joint deserves more love, and the verdict is finally in.

We spent a week asking you which Alabama barbecue joints you think are underrated, and then asked you to vote in our poll about which one is the best. (This is part of our Unsung Alabama series, which aims to highlight some of the state’s hidden treasures.)

We can announce that Buddy’s BBQ in Talladega is officially the winner.

Related: 9 underrated Alabama barbecue joints that are hidden gems

Buddy’s received plenty of nominations as well as the most votes in our poll, which featured hidden gem eateries from all over the state that came up early and often among submissions from readers, despite not having as much notoriety as the state’s more iconic spots.

That said, it wasn’t the only Alabama barbecue joint readers said is deserving of more recognition. To prove it, you can read some of the submissions we received for restaurants all over the state below. Plus, be on the lookout for more unsung barbecue features to come.

Sam’s Smokehouse in Fayette is a reader favorite in our search for Alabama’s best barbecue. (Ben Flanagan / AL.com)

Sam’s Smokehouses award-winning ribs in Fayette are as good as it gets.” — Sammy Smith

T-N-T BBQ in York is the best barbecue and owners. Very friendly. Always a line waiting to get to the barbecue.” — Deborah Ezell Truelove

I’ve never had a bad meal from Good Ole Boys BBQ in Childersburg, and the barbecue sauce is my favorite!” — Cassy Gable

A slab and More BBQ in Demopolis! I will die on the hill that they have the best ribs in Alabama.” — Harrison Sentell

Creekside BBQ in Pelham, Ala.
Creekside BBQ in Pelham, Ala.(Bob Carlton/[email protected])

Creekside BBQ in Pelham. They also have one of the best smash burgers around and the best side with their smoked cheese grits.” — Jeremy Hamm

EG’S BBQ in Bremen has the best brisket and pork belly taco you can put in your mouth.” — Matt Chandler

Kendall’s BBQ at the 114 exit in Georgiana! Ask any yearly beach travelers and they’ll tell you that’s their main stop!” — Tammy Head Hicks

Tate’s Bar-B-Que in Scottsboro! The BEST barbeque in the world is coming out of that little cinderblock building. It has been there my entire life, decades of serving our community with this family-owned business. Definitely worth you checking out. I always order inside meat, and it is fabulous EVERY TIME!” — Abby Gentry Benson

“I drive to Butts To Go in Pell City for all my barbecue, and their Thanksgiving meals are wonderful! Best dressing I’ve ever found. Anytime I visit relatives in Tennessee, I am expected to bring their barbecue, delicious potato salad and wings.” — Bianca Judd Allen

JJ's BBQ in Elba, Ala.
Chequita Walker is picture here at the takeout window of JJ’s BBQ with her adopted son, JJ. Walker opened her takeout barbecue business to make some extra money to pay for JJ’s daycare.(Bob Carlton/[email protected])

JJ’s Barbecue in Elba! This, folks, is REAL BBQ that is outstanding. Anything, and I mean anything, on the menu is delectable. You’ll stand in line for a bit, but the food is so very worth it. Small town businesses such as JJ’s deserve some love.” — Debra Calhoun

READ MORE: A small-town BBQ joint and the boy who inspired it

“If y’all drive up to try it, no other BBQ place will even be close to how delicious Chief & Snoogie’s Hickory Pit in Trinity is. Their stuffed potatoes are next level. We have tried six other barbecue places in our little town, and nobody’s potatoes look/taste like theirs! Their family pack with tater salad is another huge hit. Out of this world flavor. Don’t take my word for it, come on and try it yourselves!” — Clair Bear

Smokehouse Pit BBQ in Millbrook has excellent brisket, and their breakfasts are to die for! They catered our daughter’s wedding and the food and service were exceptional!” — Tonya Copeland Lawless

Holy Smoke BBQ in Hartselle deserves so much more love and recognition for their above and beyond barbecue!” — Laura Stevenson

The Ranch House in Elba is an under-appreciated rising star.” — Don Hulgan

The Shack BBQ in Talladega, Ala.
The Shack BBQ in Talladega, Ala., has been smoking since 1983.(Bob Carlton/[email protected])

The Shack BBQ in Talladega! Amazing people for so many decades! Best BBQ around!” — Brook Wills-Dabbs

Big Man’s Barbecue in Florence is a must-try! The brisket baked potato is amazing.” — Lisa Marie Myrick

“I live in North Alabama, and we have tried all the others. Pigskin All Sports BBQ in Hartselle is the best all-around. The barbecue, the turkey, the ribs, stuffed potatoes…it is all delicious.” — Tammy Warnke Thompson

Fatty Matty’s BBQ in Fruitdale is the best around!” — Victoria Williams

The Pottery Grill Restaurant in Cottondale (near Tuscaloosa). Pulled pork, chicken, sausage and the the best baked beans around!” — Robby Lett

Cotton’s Alabama Barbecue in Eclectic. Food is great, big portions and not expensive. Worth the trip if you are in or around Lake Martin.” — Christopher Utter

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Birmingham’s RESTORE Games to host hundreds of youth: ‘Put down the guns, love on each other’

This is another installment in AL.com’s series “Beyond the Violence,” which explores solutions that could make Birmingham safer, healthier and happier. Sign up for the newsletter here.

On Friday, more than 800 children and teens will spend the day playing and competing while learning how to put a stop to youth violence.

The RESTORE Games, an annual community event providing youth a safe space to have fun, will run from 12 to 4 p.m. at the Birmingham CrossPlex. The free event is open to the public and will include sports tournaments, resources, panel discussions and seminars led by city leaders and local violence prevention experts.

“The event is all about reducing the violence among our youth in the community,” Renee Price, the event consultant, told AL.com.

“We want to expose them to the fact that there’s so many different things that kids can be doing, other than resorting to violence. So I just hope that maybe they’re sparked or impacted in some way.”

RESTORE, a violence prevention and re-entry program for justice-impacted youth, has focused on setting youth on the right path since its inception in 2023.

On Friday, kids can participate in horseback riding, basketball, golf, baseball, ski ball, volleyball, life-sized chess, ax throwing, drone soccer, and classic yard fun like hula hooping, jump rope and sack races.

The event will also feature a live DJ, a temporary tattoo station, a block party, free food and drinks.

But this event isn’t just about playing games. Every child is also required to attend a conflict resolution session.

Antski Williams, a RESTORE program manager, who will be participating in a panel discussion, said the games began as a community block party in 2023. Yet, it has grown into a multi-partner event that is working to bring the whole city together for one common goal: stopping the violence.

“This year, more partners got involved and they’re buying into the ecosystem of community violence intervention…That’s huge,” Williams said.

The city of Birmingham is partnering with local organizations such as the Jefferson County Family Resource Center, the Birmingham Police Department, the Step by Step Foundation, Leaders of Excellence, Renew Birmingham and Max Transit to put on the event.

Organizers said the event will help to reinforce positive community engagement between youth and local resources.

“They’ll be able to go off and hear different seminars and workshops about conflict resolution, anger management, emotional regulation…We’re helping to thwart the violence before it happens,” Williams said.

Sheree Kennon, founder of What About Us, a support group for those who have lost someone to gun violence, has set up a memorial hall in the CrossPlex with the faces of homicide victims to remind those who pass through about the importance of violence prevention.

“We’re bringing more awareness to what’s been going on in our community…Put down the guns, love on each other, support each other,” Kennon said.

“Some of the activities are going to be tremendously important to our youth and change the trajectory of how they see life…These are our babies, and if we can’t show our community and our children that we’re here to support them, then why are we here?”

Price said she is grateful that so many community members and partners came together to make the games happen.

“It really says something about the growth of Birmingham and where we’re going to see the change that we want, and actually putting action towards that,” Price said.

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Johnson: This Black pioneer should be in history books, despite Trump’s DEI purge

On this summer night, 132 years ago, July 10, 1893, James Cornish didn’t know if he would live to see dawn.

Stabbed in the chest during an altercation in Chicago, he was rushed to Provident Hospital on the city’s integrated south side.

Cornish was Black.

He likely didn’t know that the hospital had been founded two years before as Provident Hospital and Training School for Nurses, the nation’s first integrated hospital, a haven where Blacks and whites could both be treated. Where Black and white physicians could save lives side by side.

It was also launched as a training ground for Black nurses, also a first in the nation. Like Black physicians, aspiring Black nurses were still being barred from most nursing schools and hospitals in Chicago — yes, in the north — and throughout America.

Cornish likely didn’t know that the hospital was created by Dr. Daniel Hale Williams, the son of a barber, born in 1858 in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania. Someone who should be lauded in our history books, whose journey should be share with all our children, not ignored or erased as Donald Trump continues to attempt with his attack on “DEI” (or his twisted version of it) and erasure of Black history.

Daniel was the fifth of seven children who lost their father early in the boy’s life. His mother moved her children to several cities until Daniel found himself in middle school in Wisconsin.

Like many young Black men in the 19th century, amid Reconstruction and the onset of Jim Crow, Daniel learned a skill: shoemaking. But he wanted more. At 20, Williams became an apprentice to Dr. Henry Palmer, a former Wisconsin Surgeon General. He later studied medicine at Chicago Medical College (now Northwestern University’s Feinberg College of Medicine) before entering private practice in an integrated neighborhood on the south side.

Williams taught anatomy at his medical alma mater and was the surgeon for the City Railway Company, which owned cable cars and horse-drawn modes of transportation on the integrated south side until 1914.

But Williams wanted more. He dreamed of a place where Black and white Doctors could study and practice and where Black nurses could train without racial constraints. On May 4, 1891, he opened Provident Hospital.

Provident Hospital and Training School for Nurses was founded in 1891 as the first integrated hospital in the nation.Courtesy NY Public Library Digital Collection

Just over two years later, James Cornish arrived not knowing if he would live.

He went into shock, prompting Williams to suspect the chest wound was deeper than it appeared and that it may be near Cornish’s heart. According to Columbiasurgery.org he asked six doctors — two Black and four white — to watch him operate on the victim. (I don’t even want to imagine what anesthesia was like then.)

Williams cut between Cornish’s ribs until he could see the still-thumping heart. He sutured the damaged left internal mammary artery but saw that the sack around Cornish’s heart had been penetrated by the knife, leaving a gash near the right coronary artery.

Williams rinsed the wound with a salt solution and repaired the damaged sack. Fifty-one days later, Cornish walked out of the hospital and lived for another 20 years.

Maybe Cornish later knew, or maybe he never did know that on that night 133 years ago, he was the benefactor of the first open heart surgery in the U.S. By anyone.

Williams became chief surgeon at the Freedmen’s Hospital in Washington, DC, before returning to Chicago to continue saving lives.

In 1913, he was the first African American inducted into the American College of Surgeons. To this day, at Howard University Hospital, a “code blue” is often called a “code Dan.”

Williams died in 1931.

If you didn’t know, now you know. We should all know.

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8 places in Alabama dinosaur lovers can visit

The website Atlas Obscura likes quirky roadside attractions nearly as much as I do. It’s a fun site to check out, but I was a little hurt recently that Alabama was left of its list of “14 Roadside Dinosaur Attractions Worth the Stop.”

If you have a dino-obsessed family member, Alabama has no shortage of attractions to see and learn about dinosaurs. I’ve listed eight ways to see dinosaurs in Alabama, from statues to real fossils.

A T-rex in the woods near Barber Marina in Elberta, AL.Kelly Kazek

Four dinos in the woods

Barber Marina, 26986 Fish Trap Rd, Elberta, AL

George Barber, owner of Barber Motorsports in Leeds and Barber Marina in Elberta, likes to surprise visitors. He commissioned artist Mark Cline to build four massive dinosaurs to hide in the woods by the road to the marina.

Dinosaurs in Alabama
A stegosaurus in the woods on the way to Barber Marina in Elberta, Ala.Kelly Kazek

When you see the Dinosaur Crossing sign, pull over and walk around to find a Tyrannosaurus rex, a brontosaurus, a stegosaurus and a triceratops.

Dinosaurs in Alabama
Dinosaur Adventure Land is located in Conecuh County, Ala.Anna Claire Vollers

Dinosaur Adventure Land

488 Pearl Lane, Repton, AL

This small theme park features dinosaurs but it also comes with a bit of controversy. The park’s purpose is to teach creationism.

Dinosaurs in Alabama
This 21-foot-tall dinosaur made from found objects by artist Mike Goggans is located in Fort Payne, Ala.Rebekah Davis

Junkosaurus Wrecks

Barnyard Antiques, 4616 Desoto Parkway NE, Fort Payne AL

This 21-foot-tall replica of a tyrannosaurus rex was built by local engineer and artist Mike Goggans from found objects. The 1.5-ton sculpture known as Junkosaurus Wrecks can be seen near Barnyard Antiques.

Dinosaurs in Alabama
Brontosaurus statues in Fairhopers Community Park in Fairhope, AL.AL.com File Photo

Dinosaur Statue

Fairhopers Community Park, 105 South Church Street, Fairhope, AL

This community park managed by the City of Fairhope features a splash pad and playground. One of its most popular attractions is an oversized statue of a brontosaurus alongside a smaller brontosaurus.

Dinosaurs in Alabama
Jurassic Golf Indoor Blacklight Adventure is located in Gulf Shores, Ala.Jurassic Golf Indoor Blacklight Adventure

Jurassic Golf

3800 Gulf Shores Parkway, Suite 142, Gulf Shores, AL

This indoor blacklight attraction features glow-in-the-dark dinosaur replicas displayed over a 5,000-square-foot miniature golf course.

You can see the fossils and models of several dinosaurs found in Alabama at:

Anniston Museum of Natural History

800 Museum Drive, Anniston AL

This museum has an exhibit called “Dynamic Earth” that features “life-sized casts of dinosaurs and aquatic reptiles, as well as life-sized Pteranodon and Albertosaurus models,” according to its website.

Dinosaurs in Alabama
A dinosaur exhibit at McWane Science Center in Birmingham, Ala.AL.com File Photo

McWane Science Center

200 19th Street Noth, Birmingham, AL

McWane Science Center has “hundreds of cataloged Late Cretaceous mosasaurs and dinosaurs,” according to its website. The exhibit includes dinosaur fossils discovered in Alabama, but the most impressive is the Appalachiosaurus.

“A relative of T. rex, Appalachiosaurus was the dominant predator in Alabama during the Late Cretaceous Period,” the website says. “The bones on display in this exhibit come from the most complete Appalachiosaurus ever discovered and represent the most complete tyrannosaur ever found in the eastern half of the United States.”

Alabama Museum of Natural History

Smith Hall, 427 Sixth Avenue, University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, AL

Exhibits in this museum operated by the University of Alabama include “dinosaurs such as a skull of the famous Tyrannosaurus rex and multiple bones of Cretaceous dinosaurs found in Alabama,” the website said. “One of the most complete skeletons of mosasaurs in the world, nicknamed Artemis, is a true gem of the museum.”

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23 dams in Shelby County, 20 in Jefferson County need of attention, analysis shows

As work resumes to repair and strengthen a century-old dam in Shelby County, dozens of other structures in the region remain in need of attention, according to a national database.

Members of Birmingham’s regional water utility Monday unanimously agreed to resume $28 million in repairs on the Lake Purdy Dam after briefly pausing the project.

The project is intended to improve the dam’s structural stability and address water leaks at its foundation. The work is part of a $85 million total initiative to upgrade the structure that was approved by the former Birmingham Water Works Board in 2024. The utility has since been restructured and renamed Central Alabama Water.

Lake Purdy Dam is listed as a high hazard by the Army Corps of Engineers due to the catastrophic impact that a breach would have on nearby communities. Still, the major dam isn’t the only area structure in need of attention.

The National Inventory of Dams, a database of the Corps of Engineers, lists 23 dams in Shelby County and 20 dams in Jefferson County in need of repair.

Dams in Jefferson County include two others owned by the water works. Shelby County listings include four dams at Oak Mountain State Park.

In all, the database includes 2,266 dams in Alabama. The average age is 57 years old, and 16 percent are listed as high hazard potential.

Still, the database also includes several qualifiers regarding the broad category of “high risk.”

“Category to indicate the potential hazard to the downstream area resulting from failure or mis-operation of the dam or facilities,” the site notes. “It reflects probable loss of human life and impacts on economic, environmental, and lifeline interests. The hazard potential does not speak to the condition of the dam or the risk of the dam failing.”

Lake Purdy Dam is part of the system that delivers drinking water for suburban Birmingham communities including Homewood, Hoover, Mountain Brook and Vestavia Hills.

The National Inventory of Dams site notes that about 60,000 dams or two-thirds of the 91,000 structures it lists pose lesser risks that are not life threatening. Also, half of the listed dams are less than 25 feet tall while only two percent of the dams are taller than 100 feet.

Lake Purdy is a main source for the water works. The other is Inland Lake in Blount County. The database also lists Inland Lake as high risk.

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Asking Eric: Grandchildren seeming ungrateful for help

Dear Eric: My husband and I have a wonderful son, daughter-in-law, and two lovely young grandkids, all of whom live nearby. I babysit the children several times a week and host family dinner nights often. Occasionally, we help financially with purchases of items. Their place is quite small and not suitable for entertaining; they’re both gainfully employed but can’t afford a larger place right now.

We’ve been asked to host events for them on several occasions. We have the time, space, means and willingness to do so, and give our best efforts.

My problem is that there is never any expression of gratitude except for general notes on greeting cards a couple times a year. This lack of acknowledgment largely extends to birthday and holiday gifts as well. A simple “thanks for hosting Steven’s birthday party for 18 people” or “that new appliance is really helping” would be enough.

I feel taken for granted. But I also remember attending events at my in-laws’ house decades ago and never thought to send thank-you notes or call afterward. I guess I just figured it was their pleasure and duty as grandparents. Are we expecting too much? Is this just the way things are? Should I just appreciate that we have a good family and the ability to help with gifts and gatherings and let go of any resentment for the lack of acknowledgment?

– Sad Nana and Pop

Dear Nana and Pop: They should absolutely be thanking you, at the least, if not also offering to lighten the load of hosting. Yes, it can be easy for these gestures to fall into the cadence of family life and, thereby, get taken for granted. But that doesn’t make it OK.

To prevent this feeling from becoming a bigger obstacle, talk about it with your son and daughter-in-law. One opportunity may be at the next ask but it may be less charged to do so beforehand. Offer a gentle but clear reminder that you’re happy to host but that it takes work. Tell them that you know that they appreciate the work, but that it’s nice to have it acknowledged.

Look, I want to make it plain that having to ask for a “thank you” when gratitude should be expressed easily and often is a burden. It’s more work for you. But a slightly uncomfortable conversation is better than resentment. You might even suggest a way that you’d like to receive thanks. “After the next party, it would be great to send us some flowers so that we have something to remind us of the wonderful time we had.” Sometimes people need a nudge to do the right thing.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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Alabama’s biggest HS fans: ‘Mr. Trojan’ Joey Wolfe never has a bad day

EDITOR’S NOTE: This summer, we are searching for the best Alabama high school fans associated with your team. Know someone who fits the bill? Shoot us an email at [email protected] and tell us about them and why they should be in the spotlight.

Former AHSAA Executive Director Steve Savarese met Joey Wolfe when he was the head football coach at Daphne High School.

“I love JoJo,” Savarese said this week. “My wife and I lived a few houses down from his family when we first moved to Spanish Fort. Joey would come over and say hello occasionally and, one day, he was just in our house. I said, ‘We have to get something for Joey to do.’ He would just walk in and say, ‘I love you, coach.’ He still does today.”

Savarese invited Wolfe to help with the Daphne football team in the 1990s.

“Mr. Trojan” as he is affectionately known now – not just around the Baldwin County High School but around the city in general — hasn’t stopped helping since.

“Obviously, he has some handicaps,” Perry Wolfe said of his 50-year-old son. “Joey can’t read or write or tell time, but he talks to everyone. He knows all the kids’ numbers. Everyone is his friend, and he is everyone’s friend.”

Wolfe went to school at Daphne and earned a certificate of graduation in 1996. One of his fellow students at the time? Current Daphne head coach Kenny King.

“Joey has been around the program a long time,” King said. “He always shows up. He is there every day from beginning to end. I’m talking every day. I tell the boys all the time that if JoJo, in his 50s, can show up everyday and show what it means to have school pride, then certainly you can do it as well.”

Wolfe is known as the head football and baseball manager at Daphne. He is easy to spot if attending a Daphne sporting event.

“Every where he goes, he wears purple and gold,” Perry Wolfe said. “When we go to church, he is wearing those Daphne colors.”

Wolfe has been a fixture on the Daphne sidelines for three decades with the only exception being when his family moved to Louisiana for two years. He already has been inducted into the Daphne High Hall of Fame and the Baldwin County Coaches Hall of Fame.

“When I first met Joey, he was a student in the early days when I was coaching basketball and teaching,” said Glenn Vickery, who followed Savarese as Daphne’s head coach in 2004. “Later on, when I became head football coach, Joey was in our lives every day. He would be at the fieldhouse at 7:30. He would leave for lunch and help in the cafeteria and then come back and go home at 6:30 like the rest of us. He has a sweet heart, a sweet attitude and a sweet personality and a great love for Daphne High School. He’s just a blessing to be with.”

Perry Wolfe said on the rare occasion some younger players just entering the Daphne program would pick on JoJo, the team’s upperclassmen would put a quick stop to that.

“From a parents’ standpoint, I never had to worry about him going up there,” he said. “Those coaches and players go out of their way to keep him safe. JoJo never has a bad day. He said his only bad days are if Daphne loses. He eats, drinks and sleeps Daphne High School.”

Savarese said Wolfe isn’t the only one who has learned something during the last 30 years.

“Everyone thinks we did something for Joey,” he said. “What we all have learned is that Joey has taught us a lot more than we ever taught him with his love, his caring, his humility and, most of all, his passion for being a Daphne Trojan.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story initially ran in the AL.com Thursday high school newsletters. To subscribe, please visit al.com/newsletters. Each week, the newsletters include trivia, polls and much more.

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Dear Abby: I have feelings for my personal trainer

DEAR ABBY: I have been working with a personal trainer for a year who just gave me the bad news that he may be leaving soon for a promotion in Chicago. I’m happy he’s so motivated and hardworking, but I have grown to adore him. I feel like we’re connected.

Lately, when I think about his leaving, it almost makes me cry. He’s so kind, protective, funny and sweet to me. He mentioned in one of our first sessions that he was attracted to me.

He tells me I’m beautiful, and it makes me smile. If he moves away, it will leave a hole in my heart. I feel like he’s forgetting everything we have shared.

I text him but don’t want to be a pest. Should I tell him how I feel before it’s too late? Does it seem clingy? How do I know he feels the same way about me without making myself look like a fool? — WORKED UP IN PHOENIX

DEAR WORKED UP: You wrote that your trainer said he “may” be moving to Chicago. How definite is it? Forgive me if this seems harsh, but if your feelings are reciprocated, your trainer would invite you to move to Chicago with him, or at least find time to see you outside of your paid sessions. If you think it would help to express your feelings for him, say so. It’s a huge compliment, and he should regard it as such. I don’t think you have anything to lose by being honest.

Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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