DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve been with my fiance for 16 years. I have a good relationship with his mother, though I wouldn’t call us best friends.
We talk and get along well when we go to her house, but she and I don’t spend time together on our own — only when my partner and I go visit her. Her husband died six months ago, so we have been trying to spend more time with her.
Anyway, she’s been asking me to call her “Mom.” As I am extremely close to my own mother, I’m just not comfortable with this. For now, I pretty much never call her anything! I just hug her and say, “Hi! How’ve you been?” without ever using a name, but it’s a little awkward, as you can imagine.
I am just not willing to call anyone else “Mom.” It would feel like an insult to my own mother. But explaining my reasoning to my partner’s mother would offend her. She isn’t the type of woman to let me address her by her first name, so what else could I call her?
GENTLE READER: Blame your mother. Moms are used to taking the fall for their children, and if you are as close as you say, yours will likely be willing. Miss Manners suggests you say something like, “I am worried that it might upset my mom if I call someone else that, but let’s think of another name that will suit you and our relationship.”
Just make sure that you prepare your actual mom to corroborate the story the next time the two of them meet.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Dear Readers: Wishing you all a fun and festive Valentine’s Day, filled with love and loved ones! I received this letter recently and was impressed with how well written and wise it was. What a perfect day to share it with you all.
Dear Annie: My wife, “Patsy,” and I have been married for 50 years, each one better than the last. Perhaps your readers might be interested in what works for us:
Marry your best friend. Passions fade, but friendship lasts a lifetime.
Don’t work at marriage. Play at marriage. Have fun with each other. Marriage isn’t a job; it’s a joy.
Share everything, even the parts that hurt to share. Dare to be vulnerable. Love all of each other, not just the parts you want each other to see. Secrets are the enemy of trust. Trust is essential for a happy marriage.
Find fun activities to do together and do them often. But also find time for individual activities. Become one with your spouse, but don’t lose yourself.
Compliment each other. Say “I love you” a dozen times a day. Take joy in your spouse saying it, too. Unexpressed love is wasted love.
Support each other. Take pride in each other. Celebrate each other as the unique individuals you are.
Do not let problems fester. Discuss and resolve them before they become explosive issues.
Attitude is critical. Work with your spouse in a joint effort to solve your problems instead of resorting to arguing. When the problem is solved, take a little time to heal and celebrate having solved the problem together.
Finally, enjoy every minute of your marriage. Nurture that feeling you had when you were engaged. Help it grow into something even deeper and more wonderful. There is no greater joy in life than a happy marriage. Treasure it. Build it. Love it. But, most of all, enjoy it together! — Loving Every Minute
Dear Loving Every Minute: You offer incredible advice, indeed. Keeping with this spirit, here are a few of my other favorite quotes about love:
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” — Ursula K. Le Guin
“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” — Dave Meurer
“Being in a long marriage is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning — I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.” — Stephen Gaines
“Anyone can love a thing ‘because.’ That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.” — Patrick Rothfuss
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
Dear Eric: I belong to a small book club that now comprises six older women. All of us have been with the group for more than 30 years. For the most part, we all get along and enjoy the variety of books that are selected to be read each year. We have one member who is very opinionated about everything and does not hesitate to let her thoughts be known to us all.
Often, she snaps and uses a tone that is loud and unyielding to any other perspective or viewpoint. Some of these opinions are about what books should be selected for the year, but often times it’s more trivial and can border on a personal attack. For years, we’ve all given her a pass, dismissing her as, “it’s just Suzy’s way,” but most of the members are simply tired of these tirades. She reminds me of Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in the movie, “Grumpy Old Men.” Do you have any suggestions on how to handle a “grumpy old woman”?
– Soon-to-Be Book Club Dropout
Dear Dropout: Thirty years of unyielding comments and personal attacks? I’ve dropped out of book clubs for far less. The food is never good? See ya later. The chairs are uncomfortable? Catch you on the flip side. So, I admire your perseverance with this Suzy situation. Wouldn’t be me!
This may, as you said, be Suzy’s way. But that doesn’t mean she can’t temper it. Your tolerance for these antics has changed, as is your right. And so, you can tell Suzy, kindly but squarely, that you find it hard to be in book club with these kinds of interjections. Give specific examples. Ask her if she can see how it makes for an uncomfortable experience and see if she’ll make an adjustment.
If she doesn’t, well, that’s just Suzy’s way. And your way can be straight out the door, to enjoy your book at home.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
Mercury enters Pisces today, sharpening Cupid’s aim with a touch of soul-stirring intuition. This cosmic energy lends a poetic quality to our thoughts, making every word a potential spark for something profound. To love with fervor under this influence is to tap into a connection that feels almost otherworldly, as if destiny itself orchestrated the meeting.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Your charisma comes from the way you take moments of pure joy and relax into them like a bubble bath, soaking in all there is to love about being alive. You’ll draw others into your magnetic orbit and they’ll share in the fun.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’re fantasizing about fresh fun and the connections you want to cultivate going forward. Needing more out of life isn’t frivolity. It’s about the deep and beautiful ways you connect with others and how alive that makes you feel.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll soon connect with people who will give you the same level of thoughtfulness and curiosity that you bring to the table. If the timing is not quite as expedient as you wish, just know that you’re building a foundation for deeper fulfillment.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Cherish those relationships that honor you in all your complexity, not just in the ways you can perform. You’ll revel and thrive with those who let you know that you are far more than enough, just as you are.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Love stirs strong feelings that feel like the finger of fate, nudging you toward your next move. How much of these passions, impulses and longings are love’s truth and how much is your mind shaping a story to fit what your ego craves?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There’s something crucial waiting on the back burner, but go forward anyway, in celebration of the opportunities you’ve already seized and the progress you’ve made. You’ll soon have all the time and space to dive into the passions that set your heart aflutter.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The day brings a raw honesty into your inner dialogue, which will lead to a sparkling clarity of heart. This newfound transparency allows you to connect with desire that’s unfiltered by outside expectations.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Rushing love or connection before it’s fully formed is like taking the cake out of the oven too soon; half-baked efforts won’t satisfy. Whether it’s a romantic gesture or a heartfelt conversation, patience will make all the difference.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You will know the allure of something special to chase; desire sparks, curiosity unfolds and the thrill of pursuit takes root. A sense of purpose and excitement grows as you near your subject.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You will weave a story around what you love, imagining its history, its secrets and its future. Just remember that the story is your creation, which might be a world away from reality. If so, it’s a lovely world, making for a fanciful commute to reality.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your honesty and vulnerability are gifts to others who might not yet have the courage to sit with their own truths. You face the future with a smile, and in your smile, people will see a reflection of their own true, raw and beautiful humanity.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You don’t always feel the presence of love’s guiding force, but it’s still there, shaping your responses. In a moment of connection, you’ll act from a deeper place, embodying the lessons love has taught you, even if you aren’t consciously aware of them.
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 14). You step into a new chapter with great creativity, determination and openness to the support coming to you. There will be no fluffing egos, performing on command or twisting yourself to fit in. Relationships are aligned with your values: kindness, creativity, depth, work ethic and that elusive X-factor that just clicks. More highlights: healthy boosts, convenient luxuries, free education. Sagittarius and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 21, 2, 29 and 15.
Holiday Mathis’ debut novel, “How To Fail Epically in Hollywood,” is out now! This fast-paced romp about achieving Hollywood stardom is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit creatorspublishing.com for more information. Write Holiday Mathis at HolidayMathis.com.
On Thursday at 11:10 p.m. a flood warning was issued by the National Weather Service in effect until Friday at 3 p.m. for Cherokee County.
The weather service describes, “Flooding caused by excessive rainfall continues for Cherokee county.”
“Flooding of rivers, creeks, streams, and other low-lying and flood-prone locations is imminent or occurring,” says the weather service. “Turn around, don’t drown when encountering flooded roads. Most flood deaths occur in vehicles.”
Deciphering advisories, watches, and warnings: Understanding weather alerts
Flash flood warning: Take action!
A flash flood warning is issued when a flash flood is either imminent or already occurring. In flood-prone areas, it’s crucial to move immediately to higher ground. A flash flood is a sudden and violent inundation that can develop within minutes to hours, and it can even happen in areas not currently experiencing rainfall.
Flood warning: Take action!
A flood warning is issued when flooding is imminent or occurring.
Flood advisory: Be aware:
A flood advisory is issued when flooding is not expected to be bad enough to issue a warning. However, it may cause significant inconvenience, and if caution is not exercised, it could lead to situations that may threaten life and/or property.
Flood watch: Be prepared:
A flood watch is issued when conditions are favorable for flooding. It doesn’t guarantee that flooding will occur, but it signifies that the possibility exists.
Keeping safe during floods: Expert advice from the weather service
Floods can pose a significant threat, especially if you live in a flood-prone area or find yourself camping in a low-lying region. To ensure your safety, the weather service offers essential flood safety guidelines:
Seek higher ground:
If you’re in a flood-prone area, or if you’re camping in a low-lying spot, move to higher ground as a first step.
Follow evacuation orders:
When local authorities issue an evacuation order, promptly comply. Before leaving, secure your home by locking it.
Disconnect utilities and appliances:
If time allows, disconnect your utilities and appliances. This reduces the risk of electrical hazards during flooding.
Avoid basements and submerged areas:
Avoid basements or rooms submerged in water with electrical outlets or cords. Preventing electrical accidents is crucial.
Swift evacuation for your safety:
If you notice sparks or hear buzzing, crackling, snapping, or popping noises, evacuate immediately. Avoid any water that may be charged with electricity.
Stay away from floodwaters:
Never attempt to walk through floodwaters. Even just 6 inches of swiftly moving water can forcefully knock you off your feet.
Seek higher ground when trapped:
In the event you become trapped by moving water, make your way to the highest point available and contact emergency services by calling 911.
During heavy rainfall, the risk of flooding is heightened, especially in low-lying and flood-prone regions. Always remember never to drive through water on the road, no matter how shallow it appears. According to the weather service, as little as 12 inches of rapidly flowing water can carry away most vehicles. Prioritize your safety by staying informed and prepared.
Rainy roadways ahead: Essential safety tips for heavy rain
Rain can turn roads into hazards. Stay informed and follow these tips from the weather service to ensure safety during heavy rainfall:
Beware of rapid water flow:
In heavy rain, refrain from parking or walking near culverts or drainage ditches, where swift-moving water can pose a grave danger.
Maintain safe driving distances:
Adhere to the two-second rule for maintaining a safe following distance behind the vehicle in front of you. In heavy rain, allow an additional two seconds of distance to compensate for reduced traction and braking effectiveness.
Reduce speed and drive cautiously:
On wet roads, reducing your speed is crucial. Ease off the gas pedal gradually and avoid abrupt braking to prevent skidding.
Choose your lane wisely:
Stick to the middle lanes to minimize the risk of hydroplaning. Outer lanes are more prone to accumulating water.
Prioritize visibility:
Turn on your headlights and be careful of other vehicles to the rear and in blind spot areas as they are especially difficult to see through rain-spattered windows.
Watch out for slippery roads:
The first half-hour of rain is when roads are slickest due to a mix of rain, grime, and oil. Exercise heightened caution during this period.
Keep a safe distance from large vehicles:
Large trucks and buses can reduce your visibility with tire spray. Avoid tailgating and pass them swiftly and safely.
Mind your windshield wipers:
Overloaded wiper blades can hinder visibility. If rain severely impairs your vision, pull over and wait for conditions to improve. Seek refuge at rest areas or sheltered spots.
If the roadside is your only option, pull off as far as possible, preferably past the end of a guard rail, and wait until the storm passes. Keep your headlights on and turn on emergency flashers to alert other drivers of your position.
In the face of heavy rain, these precautions can make a significant difference in ensuring your safety on the road. Remember to stay informed about weather conditions and heed guidance from local authorities for a secure journey.
Advance Local Weather Alerts is a service provided by United Robots, which uses machine learning to compile the latest data from the National Weather Service.
Clay-Chalkville’s Victor Odiari was a man untethered in the second half as the ninth-ranked Cougars escaped with a 59-55 double-overtime victory over Hazel Green in Thursday’s Class 6A Northwest Regional semifinal at Wallace State-Hanceville’s Traditions Bank Arena.
Odiari scored all but 14 of the Cougars’ points in the second half and overtime, and was a stalwart on defense in protecting the rim and dominating the glass.
South Alabama executed at the free-throw line and on the defensive glass down the stretch in a 91-82 overtime victory over Marshall at the Mitchell Center on Thursday night.
The Jaguars scored the game’s final seven points — five of them from the stripe — to hold off the Thundering Herd and stay tied for second place in the Sun Belt Conference. South Alabama (17-8, 9-4 Sun Belt) has now exceeded its overall and conference win total from last season, with five regular-season games still remaining on the schedule.
“What a battle that was,” South Alabama coach Richie Riley said. “Any time two teams meet this late in the season that are up in the standings like these two, how meaningful that game was, it’s going to be a battle. And they have a really good team.
“… We knew it was going to be tough, and they threw some haymakers, and I was proud of the way our guys were able to respond and just keep fighting, and finding a way in that overtime.”
Behind a season-high 26 points from forward Elijah Ormiston, South Alabama led most of the way before Marshall got hot from beyond the arc midway through the second half. The Thundering Herd (15-11, 8-5) hit three 3-pointers as part of a 13-0 to erase a 12-point deficit and jump on top 67-64 with 6:23 remaining, then led 71-66 at the 4:52 mark after four straight points from Dezayne Mingo.
South Alabama kept its poise, however, scoring seven straight — including a 3-point play by Ormiston with 2:59 remaining to go back up 73-71. The teams traded the lead back-and-forth before the Jaguars’ Barry Dunning was called for goal-tending on a shot by Marshall big man Obinna Anochili-Killen to tie it with 11 seconds and USA’s JJ Wheat missed an off-balance 3-pointer off the rim at the buzzer to send the game to overtime.
In the extra period, South Alabama immediately went up by four on back-to-back buckets by Ormiston and Wheat, but Marshall cut the lead to one point with 3:11 left, then two with 2:14 to play. The Jaguars’ Randy Brady and John Broom secured several big rebounds in the final two minutes, with Broom knocking down four straight free throws to end the game.
“It was a turn of events,” South Alabama guard Myles Corey said. “We’re used to people going on runs, and sometimes we struggle offensively. We just know that we’ve got to stay locked on the defensive end and worry about the things that we can control. So if they hit shots, we’ve got to still go down and execute.
“… I’m just glad that we stuck in it. We didn’t get down on ourselves, and we kept playing.”
South Alabama won despite making only two 3-pointers all night, making up for the lack of outside shooting by repeatedly getting to the rim. The Jaguars continually attacked the basket with quick passes inside, winding up with 52 points in the paint and shooting 33 free throws (making 27 of them).
In addition to Ormiston’s season-best night, South Alabama got 18 points and seven rebounds from Dunning and 17 points from Corey — who was 6-for-6 from the free-throw line. Wheat added 10 points, while Broom had eight rebounds and four assists.
Anochili-Killen led Marshall with 20 points, but only six in the second half and overtime. Mikal Dawson added 18 (including six 3-pointers), while Mingo had 14 and Nate Martin pulled down 16 rebounds.
The Thundering Herd made 14 3-pointers, but shot just 29% on 48 attempts. They shot 39% overall to 52% for South Alabama.
“That was an exciting one,” Ormiston said. “… That was such a fun win for the whole team, man.
“The whole student section, every Jag fan there, they brought the energy. We try to bring our energy on the team, and I’m so proud of my guys for the fight. We never gave up.”
South Alabama remains in a four-way tie for second in the Sun Belt, with Troy, Appalachian State and James Madison also all 9-4 in league. The Jaguars now hold head-to-head tiebreakers over Marshall and JMU, and split with Troy (they do not play App State in the regular season).
Arkansas State — which South Alabama beat in Mobile on Jan. 8 and plays in Jonesboro on Wednesday — is one game clear of the field at 10-3 in Sun Belt play. The top two finishers in the regular-season standings get a bye all the way to the semifinals of the conference tournament, which begins March 4 in Pensacola, Fla.
“The guys we play once, if you can own a tiebreaker over them, that’s big in the end,” Riley said. “But every one of these games are so hard. The parity in our league is just a small margin, so it comes down to approaching each one at a time and having the toughness to finish games like this off because that game could have gone either way.”
South Alabama remains at home Saturday, hosting Texas State at 3 p.m.
A member of billionaire Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency [DOGE] showed up to Internal Revenue Service headquarters on Thursday, drawing concern from critics who fear the agency’s involvement will complicate IRS operations, including the timeliness of tax refunds, during the busy tax season.
DOGE’s Gavin Kliger met with senior tax executives at the IRS’ Washington, D.C. offices to examine the agency’s operations, sources told multiple news outlets Thursday.
While there were few specifics about Kliger’s appearances at IRS headquarters, Reuters reported the visit “suggests that Musk, who President Donald Trump has tasked with cutting costs, waste and fraud across the federal government is now scrutinizing the IRS as part of that effort, even as the ongoing tax season squeezes its resources.”
Among Kliger’s requests to IRS officials, according to CNN, were “a description of what each business unit in the IRS does, what it’s looking to deliver on in the next 90 days and what risks each unit currently faces.”
Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., said his office heard about DOGE’s IRS visit, suggesting the appearance raises concerns about the privacy of taxpayer data.
“That means Musk’s henchmen are in a position to dig through a trove of data about every taxpayer in America,” the senator tweeted Thursday afternoon. “And if your refund is delayed, they could very well be the reason.”
DOGE’s efforts to access Treasury Department records containing sensitive personal data for millions of Americans has been temporarily stalled by a New York federal judge, who set a hearing in the matter for Friday.
Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency was created to find and eliminate wasteful government spending. Its access to Treasury records and its inspection of government agencies has led critics to criticize Musk while his supporters praise the idea of reining in bloated government finances.
CNN said it hired Rahm Emanuel, the former Obama advisor and Chicago mayor, as a senior commentator on political and global affairs. Emanuel most recently served as U.S. Ambassador to Japan.
His hire comes as CNN has tried to lure conservative and center-right viewers by enlisting the aforementioned Jennings, a former Bush advisor whose presence on the network has increased in recent weeks. Jennings appears frequently in Washington political panels and on the primetime show “NewsNight,” and even recently made a foray into CNN’s more traditional news programming. His support for the policies of the Trump administration has brought him directly into on-air conflict with several CNN anchors, who often accuse him of grandstanding.
Emanuel could serve to balance the scales. A former chief of staff in the Obama White House, Emanuel is known for having a blunt demeanor. “You have to be idealistic enough to know why you’re doing what you’re doing, and then ruthless enough to get it done,” Emanuel told a group of graduate students at Stanford University in 2017.
Emanuel served as a U.S. Congressman from Illinois for six years, and also worked as an advisor in the Clinton administration.
He holds a bachelor’s degree from Sarah Lawrence College and earned a master’s degree in speech and communication at Northwestern University.
Emanuel is represented by WME, but not by his brother, Ari Emanuel, who is CEO of Endeavor the talent-and-sports conglomerate that is the agency’s corporate parent.