DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family planned a large gathering at my home to take place right after my husband’s funeral. The morning of the funeral, I went to pick up a number of food trays at the local grocery store.

A woman standing at the counter commented about the big party I must be having and how she wished she could come. I responded that it wasn’t what she thought. I walked away and went to the car to cry.

Even if people think their unsolicited comment is well-intentioned, it may be hurtful. I remember this each time a person who believes they are just being friendly and engaging makes a similar “none of their business” comment to me.

GENTLE READER: You showed great restraint in not quietly mentioning what the food was for. Doing so might even have taught someone that, as Miss Manners keeps saying, it is hurtful to make assumptions about others.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.