DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a young daughter who constantly gets compliments about how beautiful she is, which she is. I always tell her to say “thank you,” and she does.

However, I have noticed that people in the older generation tend to touch my daughter’s hair or want a hug from her.

I was taught as a child that when someone was overly friendly and wanted to touch my hair or hug me, I should just deal with it out of respect, despite my discomfort. I don’t want to let my child feel that way, but I have a hard time standing up for her because of how I was raised.

An example: Today at the store, my daughter was approached by an older woman who touched her hair and then grabbed her into a hug. I was stunned and didn’t know what to say to the woman without being disrespectful.

How do I stand up for my daughter? Please ask your readers to talk to the parents before touching a child, even their hair, or hugging them. I’m trying to teach my child about consent, but I can’t help her practice it if I can’t defend her, either.

GENTLE READER: If you are teaching your daughter to say “thank you,” you may also tell her to say “No thank you” when a stranger is approaching her. Or, in cases less benign than that old lady, a firm “NO!”

With regard to your own upbringing and the notion of showing respect for others, Miss Manners will add that respect goes both ways: No one should be touching anyone without consent. If you see that happening to your daughter, you may rush to her defense saying, “I didn’t know what was happening. You’ll forgive me if I’m on high alert. We have taught our daughter to be cautious when it comes to strangers, even with well-intentioned ones like you.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.