DEAR MISS MANNERS: We visited a friend and her new partner for a weekend visit. Her partner drove us to an outing about 20 miles away and went 95 mph on the highway. Despite fearing for our lives, we said nothing. On the way back, however, I politely asked the partner if he could please keep his speed under 80 mph.

He immediately turned indignant, got out of the car and told me I should drive and that he would sit in the back with my wife. I told him I would not drive and to just please obey the speed limits.

After a heated exchange, he coldly got back in the car, drove more slowly, and never said another word for the rest of the trip. It was very uncomfortable. Was I right to speak up?

GENTLE READER: If a reasonable person would feel that the alternative to speaking up would have been to be found dead by the side of the road when the local constabulary made their rounds Monday morning, then this is not an etiquette question.

The etiquette question is: What to do after everyone got back in the car? Miss Manners’ answer is: Play dumb. After enough time has passed to allow everyone to recover their bearings, resume as normal an interaction with your friend as you can muster — speaking about other things for the rest of the weekend.

It won’t fool anyone, but you have to pass the time some way, you are not likely to accept a second invitation, and it is better than playing dead.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.