DEAR MISS MANNERS: Some relatives and I were told of a baby shower for a distant cousin. No formal invitations were sent; we were invited by word of mouth and received a gift registry link by text message. After that, some of us received an invitation via text, while others did not.

No one in the family really knows the couple, who live out of state. They will not even be present at the shower: We are told they are attending “virtually.” When the couple visited our state several months ago, they did not have time to meet any extended family members, nor attend another baby shower in person at that time.

We feel like this shower is just a tacky gift-grab. Do we have to attend? Do we have to send a gift?

GENTLE READER: Why do you even ask?

Miss Manners finds it curious that people who are presumably inured to scams from strangers are intimidated when it comes to social connections, however tenuous.

Why would you want to give presents to people you hardly know, and who have shown no interest in knowing you? Are you afraid that if you ignore their gift demands, they will turn you over to a collection agency?

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.