DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband, George, insists that we thank our sweet puppy when he follows directions. I explained that I do not believe thanking a pet is necessary, but I would be willing to send an inquiry to Miss Manners, who is the authority regarding etiquette.

George responded that he did not believe Miss Manners is an actual person, and is more likely a group of people in an office. He then went on to explain that even if Miss Manners is “real,” she isn’t the authority in all areas of etiquette.

My questions for Miss Manners are: What is the appropriate amount of time for George to sleep in the doghouse, and does etiquette require that I eventually allow him back into our house?

GENTLE READER: George is a brave man to take on both his wife and Miss Manners. But a foolish one to disparage the authority who was about to sympathize with him.

Not to vindicate him, exactly, but to sympathize.

Aside from the silliness of your alleged argument — and your satisfaction at getting Miss Manners to notice such silliness — it is good to be in the habit of giving thanks, even when not strictly necessary.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.