DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I found my that my wife and I were to be seated separately at a party, I would move my place card or leave the party with her.

There are two primary duties that married couples — and, arguably, dating couples — have that supersede their “duty” to the host of a gathering: protection of and fidelity to their spouse, neither of which is served by splitting couples up. Parties are often not safe in either respect, especially when alcohol is involved.

GENTLE READER: It is not clear whether the problem here is that your acquaintances are dangerous, your wife is untrustworthy, or that all of you are apt to drink out of control. Perhaps it is all of these.

Miss Manners can offer you only her sympathy. General social customs presuppose people of goodwill, not such extreme and unfortunate cases.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.