DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I host an annual holiday dinner for a group of neighbors, one of whom has asked in the past if he could bring a guest. My wife, on our behalf, has always said yes.

Unfortunately, the guest is usually the neighbor’s on-again/off-again boyfriend, who is best described as obnoxious. During dinner, our neighbor frequently smirks condescendingly at his plus-one and winks at the rest of us. Ugh.

This neighbor accepted the invitation to dinner this year. My wife says the polite thing for her to do is to anticipate his request by telling him he can bring a guest. I say we should keep quiet to see if he asks.

Do the rules of etiquette come down on my wife’s side?

GENTLE READER: They do not — until the boyfriend becomes the husband, a neighbor or both. Waiting for the neighbor to ask for a second invitation is both sensible and permissible.

Should the boyfriend indeed be promoted, Miss Manners hopes it will at least lessen the likelihood of the now-husband mistreating you or one of your other guests: It would strengthen his position to the point that he might start objecting to the smirking and the condescension of his partner. But one problem at a time.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.