DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am undergoing chemotherapy treatment. Several times, when asked how I am feeling, I have mentioned some side effects from chemo — only to be answered with, “Don’t you think that’s just your age?”

These are not symptoms that normally happen as people get older. Why do people feel that they have to offer an alternative explanation as to why someone feels bad?

Another time, while having lunch with friends, I had to get up twice to go to the bathroom. When I returned to the table the second time, one of the people asked me, “Do you have a problem?”

Really! What is wrong with people?

GENTLE READER: No filters, for one thing. People feel they must say something, even to the extent of monitoring one’s number of bathroom trips.

But Miss Manners acknowledges that there is also the less blameworthy impulse to offer comfort — not just sympathy — when there is no real comfort to be offered. That is why the afflicted are bombarded with amateur medical advice and bogus silver linings.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.