DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a physician, and I value my relationships with my patients. I am honored that they trust me to care for them.

Over the last several years, however, I have been repeatedly asked a question by my patients that I find intrusive and rude. I am at a loss for how to shut down the line of inquiry while maintaining a professional and caring relationship.

I am asked, in both direct and indirect ways, whether I am pregnant. For instance, “Ooh, is your waistline expanding?” (with a conspiratorial wink and a finger pointed at my less-than-flat belly). Or just outright, “Are you pregnant?”

It’s been especially rough to hear lately, as I have been undergoing fertility treatments for several years (unsuccessfully), and do not want to discuss this. I sometimes have to fight back tears when they ask.

I have tried responses such as “Oh, I don’t talk about that kind of thing at work,” which does not deter them. I have also tried denying it, sometimes to the disbelief of my patients, who argue with me about my status.

More than a little exasperated, I have been tempted to say things such as “Are you calling me fat?” or “I am shocked you would ask such a rude question” — neither of which I feel are appropriate in this situation, and may damage our physician-patient relationship.

What is something I could say that would shut down the line of questioning (without answering the question), yet not be rude or cause irreparable harm?

GENTLE READER: Said pleasantly (Miss Manners suggests a half-smile): “I was under the impression that I am here to examine you, not for you to examine me. Now, about those headaches you have been having …”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.