DEAR MISS MANNERS: I abhor being asked what I do for work, as I find it the laziest way to glean anything about my being.

I am happy with what I do, the environment I work in (academia) and the people with whom I interact most frequently. But when I’m asked by strangers what I do, I’d rather they ask about the origins of my last name, where I purchased the sweater they covet, or the last meal that made me giggle with glee.

What might be a positive derailment for the work question? I understand that it is a common conversation starter, but once I’m asked what I do, my interest in life goes gray.

GENTLE READER: There is hardly a conversation opener left that some do not consider offensive. Even the weather isn’t safe, as it could lead to controversy about climate change.

Nor are your examples. Questions about surnames may imply that someone doesn’t really belong, and asking about purchases may seem to inquire about financial status. (The one about giggling over meals simply bewilders Miss Manners.)

But as you say, the questioner is merely trying to start a conversation. So start one, about whatever topic you like. Asked about your job, you could say, for example, “It leaves me time to garden, which is my favorite occupation.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.