DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was hospitalized for two weeks with a serious illness that nearly took my life. While I appreciate my kind friends, I was in no condition to receive visitors other than family members, who understood I didn’t have the energy or wherewithal to engage in chatter. Therefore, when friends called and said they would be coming to visit, I politely asked them to please wait until I was released from the hospital.

I have learned that several people took great umbrage at my request. Was I wrong?

GENTLE READER: You were not wrong, but a more effective technique — not to mention one easier on yourself — would have been to deputize a family member to make your responses. There is a natural (but obviously incorrect) tendency to think that someone well enough to talk on the phone cannot possibly be in mortal danger.

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