DEAR MISS MANNERS: A colleague has lost his father. It was not unexpected, but of course it’s still a sad time.

Our firm has two offices, located about two hours’ driving time apart, and some staff also work remotely. This colleague’s supervisor is planning to circulate sympathy cards at each office.

Is this appropriate? To me, a death in the family is a solemn time, and asking co-workers to sign a card similar to a birthday or retirement card seems crass. And what about the remote workers?

I would prefer to send an individual card. I should also note that the firm will often send flowers or a charitable donation when the obituary provides details for the service.

GENTLE READER: One would think that companies that talk so incessantly about how much they care for their employees would take a passing interest at this traumatic moment in their lives. Or not.

The supervisor should send a handwritten letter expressing his and the firm’s condolences. But Miss Manners would settle for flowers and a signed note — please, without the store-bought card. This represents the company.

Individuals who are close to the grieving employee should then express their condolences as individuals — as you are doing. As to the group card, Miss Manners understands that it saves everyone time — but really, how much comfort is there in something that no one bothered much with?

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.