DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to know the most polite way to request water with no ice at a restaurant.

The most common experience for me is that the waitstaff will come to the table, pitcher in hand, and immediately pour water (with ice) for everyone. I know he or she is trying to be accommodating, but most often, I prefer no ice. Sometimes I would like sparkling water, if they have it.

When there is a glass of ice water already poured for me, should I just accept it, or should I say something? I have spoken up in the past, but I feel like a difficult patron.

GENTLE READER: One of the few upsides of the apparently increasing rudeness of contemporary society is that Miss Manners can assure you that if you politely ask for plain water in a restaurant, you will not be the most difficult patron there.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.