DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received an online invitation to my relative’s 70th birthday: a surprise dinner and music at a nice restaurant. Included in the invite is a “suggested donation” amount of $50, with the donation going towards a vacation fund.

If that wasn’t odd enough (these relatives are well-off), they also suggested that if we “feel generous,” we can add an 18% gratuity. A gratuity for what?

This feels a little like a shakedown.

GENTLE READER: Only a little?

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