DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our neighbor of 25+ years has been given a very short time to live; the cancer came on suddenly and unexpectedly. She and her husband have been delightful dinner guests, as well as good neighbors, for years. They are good company, and our children grew up together.

She’s quite clearly decided to withdraw from the world in grief. We understand. It’s devastating.

However, this is taking its toll on her husband. He’s lost a good bit of weight and is very likely not eating well. He’s the cook at their house, and a good one, but we imagine neither of them has much interest in eating.

We have offered to cook some good, enjoyable dinners for them both. They’ve declined, very politely, which we can understand. We have also offered to just drop off a basket on their porch and send a text that it’s there.

Might you be able to suggest how we can support our friends — offer a respite from cooking and tempt their appetites — while supporting their desire to be alone? We’re dissolving in a puddle of helplessness here.

GENTLE READER: You do not have to assume that the wife is oblivious to all concerns but her own. Try to speak with her alone — or, failing that, address a note only to her.

Miss Manners would have you assure her that whatever boundaries the couple sets, you will, of course, respect. But add that you would appreciate the opportunity to prepare some meals — as you are concerned for her husband’s health, as well as for hers.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.