DEAR MISS MANNERS: I belong to a group of ladies who are currently living in the United States. Their citizenship status varies. One of our ladies comes from a part of the world that is now engaged in armed conflict. She has often spoken of the terrible carnage and loss of life, especially the children. I would like to acknowledge her grief and despair, but I’m not quite sure what is appropriate. I don’t believe she’s lost any family members or people that she personally knows, so a condolence card doesn’t seem appropriate. And I’m certain that her politics and mine differ somewhat, so entering into a political discussion to show sympathy won’t work.

She is in so much pain when she speaks of the loss of innocence. Can you recommend anything that would show her I care? I am friendly with this woman, but have not developed a strong relationship to her yet.

GENTLE READER: You can be sympathetic to this woman’s pain, Miss Manners assures you, without taking a stance on its source. “This is awful. I am so sorry” is all you need say, repeated as many times as necessary — and with increasing emphasis if she tries to engage you in further political discussion.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.