DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend and I share an apartment, and also share two pet snakes. These are not large reptiles, and are kept in very secure glass tanks behind closed doors.

We understand that many people are not comfortable with reptiles, so we never let them roam around the apartment. If we have company, we never bring our pets out or even open the door to that room; they stay completely out of sight. We would never presume to force anyone to interact in the slightest with an animal that caused them anxiety.

The problem is that my boyfriend’s father is so afraid of snakes that he will not even set foot in the apartment, despite the fact that they are securely contained and not visible. I would love to be able to entertain his family in our home, but his father is adamant that he will not come over until the snakes are no longer there.

Is it rude of us to persist in eating meals at their house and then not reciprocating? We are young and broke, so entertaining them in a restaurant is not a real possibility. Do we have to get rid of two pets in order to satisfy his father?

GENTLE READER: What you need is a mutual agreement on how you will reciprocate their hospitality. Would your boyfriend’s parents, for example, be amenable to having you sometimes prepare and bring a meal to them?

Surely that is preferable to finding alternative living arrangements for Antony and Cleopatra.

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