DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent a text message to invite an 80-year-old friend of our family, who is very dear to us, and very kind and humble, to an event.

I received a response, but it was not an answer to my invite. Instead, it was a very personal and sensitive message intended for someone else.

I don’t know if she realized her mistake, and I’m hesitant to tell her, since I do not want to embarrass her. However, if I don’t tell her, she may continue to believe that she sent it to the right person.

Should I tell her what happened, or let her find out herself?

GENTLE READER: How would she do the latter without also finding out that she had mistakenly sent her reply to your message to someone else? And subsequently torturing herself, wondering who that person was?

Miss Manners suggests, instead, that you tell her what happened. And then while she gathers her composure, quickly follow up to say that you still hope she can attend your event.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.