DEAR MISS MANNERS: I learned from a treasured friend that if a person brings up a topic regarding themselves, it usually means they want to talk about it.

Said friend will then, sometimes, seem to throw up her guard when I ask a question, wanting to hear more.

Is it rude to ask questions when someone brings up a personal subject? Am I asking the wrong questions? Perhaps I’m asking the wrong way. If so, how should I politely ask? Maybe I want the correct preface.

GENTLE READER: There is no one-size-fits-all answer to such a question except to say: When in doubt, attentive listening is usually the least likely to get one in trouble.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.