DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I attend his parents’ Christmas Eve celebration every year. It begins around 4 p.m., and we usually head home around 9 p.m. They put out deli meats, rolls and a small bowl of nuts.

People always bring different things to add to the meal. I usually make a pasta dish or meatballs. Every year, whatever we bring is devoured!

This year, my father-in-law mentioned that they always have so much food left over, and that they don’t want people to bring anything. I’m torn between bringing food anyway, as it’s always eaten, or following their wishes and being hungry for the evening.

GENTLE READER: Your father-in-law’s instruction and the reasoning behind it seem clear to Miss Manners. Why are you considering violating it?

Ah, yes, so you don’t go hungry. If what is offered is not enough, surely you can eat before you attend.

But perhaps that hunger is for the appreciation others show for the dishes you bring. Fair enough, although still not an excuse for going against the host’s expressed wish.

But you will be gratified: Someone is bound to say, “You didn’t bring your wonderful pasta dish? I look forward to that all year.” With any luck, this might be said within your father-in-law’s hearing.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.