DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our group of friends is about 15 people large. We have known each other for over three decades. At the opposite end of the group is a couple that we only see when the entire group gets together.

We like to entertain, and have invited this couple for years. They have never accepted our invitations, though they accept invitations from others in the group. In some cases, they RSVP “no,” but other times they do not reply at all.

Finally, we hosted a party and decided not to invite them. The entire group got together a few days before our party, and several people were talking about how much they were looking forward to it — unbeknownst to them that two people present didn’t get an invitation.

Suddenly I felt like we did the wrong thing by not inviting them. On one hand, I thought: Perhaps there’s no harm in sending an invite if you know they won’t come anyway. On the other hand, we have finite space, we’re buying food and supplies, and I’d rather invite people I know will come.

Part of me also feels that you don’t get the courtesy of an invitation if you never show or if you repeatedly fail to RSVP.

GENTLE READER: Listen to that latter part of you.

Miss Manners assures you that the repeated offense of not answering an invitation justifies not getting another one. She further suggests you use caution with the excuse that they will not come anyway if you invite them. Too many wedding hosts rely on that logic and suffer the consequences when they guess wrong.

Had the couple or someone else in that pre-party gathering pointed out the omission — or if the tension was palpable enough — you might have said, “Lacey and Doug, you never seem to be able to attend our parties, so I didn’t want to burden you with an invitation.” It sounds as if it did not come to that, but it is there for the taking if it does.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.