DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a certain family friend shows up, he often grimaces and says, “What’s that smell?” This happens in the car, at the house, in stores … It’s off-putting and uncomfortable.

When asked, he can never identify the smell, but only continues to grimace and say, “I don’t know, but it’s awful,” or “YOU don’t smell that?”

I dread these interactions, which feel mean-spirited, and I don’t know how to respond. It happens to me and to my kids, whether we see this person individually or as a group. When other guests are present, they are often confused about these comments, too.

How do I shut this down or disengage?

GENTLE READER: Presumably, your friend has an unusually sensitive sense of smell, if not of tact. You must put it to work. The sense of smell, that is.

Such a complaint, even if made much more discreetly, carries the obligation to identify the source. So your response should be a barrage of: “Where is it coming from? What does it smell like? No, I want to trace it. You have to help me.”

Miss Manners suggests that if there are no satisfactory answers found, you then say, “You so often have this problem, which nobody else does. Could it be something on you?”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.