DEAR MISS MANNERS: I bought a drink at a coffee shop that came to $4.22 with tax. I was presented with three tip options: $1, $2 or $3 — 25%, 50% or 75%, respectively. Since there weren’t any seats left in the shop, and therefore I was taking my coffee to go (thus reducing the need to clean off a table or deal with my presence in the store), I tipped $1 (25%).

The barista glared at me as though I’d insulted her, and looked like she’d been slapped in the face.

What am I missing? I realize coffee shop workers aren’t rich, but my job doesn’t pay extravagant wages, either. I tip more when I consume my drink in the shop, or when I pose some kind of inconvenience to the staff.

GENTLE READER: When it comes to tipping, which is supposed to be a compliment, it is almost impossible not to insult someone somehow.

Miss Manners once found herself giving offense by tipping a hotel worker for storing her luggage. It seems that he was a manager, and thus above accepting tips — a stance she admires but rarely encounters.

The tip Miss Manners will give you is to tip in cash. Doing it electronically, and in full view of the other party, is designed to shame the customer into being more generous than intended. Better not to fall for it.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.