DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a children’s birthday party at a well-known pizza place where tables are reserved for a few hours and the children can play games. My group arrived 10 minutes late to find that the other guests, including the parents of the other kids, were already being served. I didn’t really mind, because my party did not include kids.

However, another group that arrived 20 minutes after the start time did include children, and they didn’t get any pizza: The host refused to order for them because they were late. The poor kids were devastated.

Should the host have ordered more food for the latecomers, especially since the other parents were eating food meant for the children?

GENTLE READER: Put another way, was the host correct to publicly chastise the parents and punish them, and their children, by withholding food? Miss Manners is confident you already know the answer is no.

A more interesting question is how the group that arrived after you should have responded. Many adults will think that the host’s rudeness justifies an angry response — and of course, that would vastly entertain the children. But that would be wrong. They should order their own food and be charming to the birthday child — and icily proper with the host.

If the children are of an age to understand, one can take satisfaction in explaining the lesson in the car on the way home — namely, that one’s behavior demonstrates one’s character. We behave well because we are good, decent people. Johnny’s mom was rude because … she is not.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.