DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you say to someone who says they were going to give you something, “but …”?

Two things that have actually happened to me:

1. I came home and my mom said, “By the way, are you hungry? I did cook you some dinner, but I ate it.”

2. I met a friend for lunch and she said, “Did you know I hosted a tea party? I thought about inviting you, but I didn’t.”

In both instances, it would’ve been better if nothing had been said. I would’ve been none the wiser.

In both instances, I said nothing in response. What would Miss Manners have said?

GENTLE READER: “I’m thinking about thanking you, but I probably won’t.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.