DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I respond when someone comments that I appear too stylish or well-dressed? This happened at a casual luncheon at a friend’s home. I pointed out that I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. My thought had been that the hostess had put a lot of effort into her luncheon, so my outfit should reflect a bit of effort, too.

The commenter said the wide-leg jeans, linen blazer and suede flats made my outfit too stylish. I was also told I was too dressed up when I wore a white denim skirt, floral blouse, flat sandals and coordinating purse for a restaurant lunch with friends.

It’s not as if I am wearing a ballgown for a hike in the woods, nor am I wearing designer logos and tons of expensive jewelry. I’m only elevating my casualwear a tiny bit.

GENTLE READER: What was your critic wearing that she considered jeans and a T-shirt “too stylish”?

For that matter, what does “too stylish” even mean? Surely she cannot be suggesting that such a long-established, universal, unassuming outfit was indicative of a slavish devotion to the latest fashion industry pronouncements. (And even the fashion industry is aware that this dictation no longer works.)

Perhaps you and Miss Manners are wasting time parsing a rude person’s muddled insult. But there is a lot of that sort of casual unpleasantness going around. To justify their own lack of effort — whether to look nice or to otherwise make things pleasant — people will make snarky remarks about the efforts of others.

What should you have said? “Thank you, I’m glad you like it.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.