DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve received several invitations to large, planned events via group text. Whether for a retirement party, bridal shower or anniversary celebration, each message included the image of an invitation, with the standard design and presentation. This indicated a certain amount of pomp and circumstance and prompted a response.

I actually appreciate this new norm, as I find that I’m more likely to immediately consult my calendar and issue a timely response than I do with mailed invitations. I also like that I get to see the rest of the guest list.

However, without an envelope or other specification of addressees, it’s usually unclear which members of my household are included in the invitation. I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to invite my children to an event that is not intended for them, but having to arrange childcare is often a determining factor for whether we attend.

Is there a polite way to ask for clarification on this point?

GENTLE READER: Send a separate text to the host asking if children are included in the invitation. Note the phrasing: You are not asking for an exception for your children, but rather if the event includes children generally.

Once you have gotten a response, thank the host for the invitation and say you will check calendars and respond quickly. Miss Manners knows that your response to the event depends on whether the children were invited, but there is no reason to let the host know that.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.