DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have some friends who live eight hours away, and they have been after us for the past few years to visit. A few weeks ago, we made the drive to see them and stayed two nights.

Both mornings, they slept very late, rising after 10 a.m. We got up and made coffee, and that was the extent of the breakfast. We took them out to a restaurant dinner one night, and the next night, they ordered pizza and passed out flimsy paper plates.

We left the following morning, after we again had made the coffee. They did pull themselves out of bed to see us off. We stopped at a fast-food restaurant to eat.

It felt disrespectful to me that we were not worthy of them getting up at a reasonable time, perhaps actually cooking something and, that aside, using something other than paper plates. The two of them are also constant quibblers.

We are considering not making the effort to see them in the future. Am I being too picky and snobbish, or expecting too much?

GENTLE READER: It is a very different thing to live with someone — even temporarily — than just to know them socially. Your friends have a home routine that does not meet your expectations, and while it does not make them great hosts, it does not necessarily make them bad companions.

Miss Manners suggests that you keep the friendship away from overnight visits. Unless, of course, you want to act as hosts next time and show them how it is properly done. Just be prepared for them to sleep through your homemade breakfast served on china plates.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.