DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I grew up, my parents told me it was never OK to discuss money — not how much something cost, not how much you had in the bank, not your pension, not your inheritance. My impression was that it was bragging, or would start comparisons that could lead to hard feelings. People would judge you by how much money you had (or didn’t have). My close friend has no problem talking about how much her car cost, how much she spent on vacation, what she gets in her pension, how much she has in an IRA, etc. She finds it odd that I don’t want to reveal my money situation.

So then I thought, maybe I was actually taught that talking about money was “low class,” or that people who were comfortable with their financial situation did not need to talk about it. Or is it that people who didn’t grow up with enough money like to talk about how much they now have and how well they’re doing?

Why was I taught that discussing money was rude? Why do I still believe this?

GENTLE READER: Because your parents were right: It constitutes bragging, leads to unpleasant comparisons and uses money to calculate people’s more general worth. Miss Manners begs you not to twist this to mean its opposite. Obviously, refraining from discussing one’s finances is the opposite of lording it over people who have less money than you.

That your friend discusses her money does not mean you need to do so. Surely your parents must also have taught you that if a friend jumps out the window, you are not required to follow.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.