DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are older adults who go to bed earlier than many people, and often leave parties without saying goodbye.

We do it because, often, when one guests leaves, others take it as a sign that they should leave as well! We don’t want to be the ones causing an early exodus from a good party, which is often in full swing.

The next morning, we reach out to the hosts to thank them and apologize for slipping out. Are we rude?

GENTLE READER: While your intentions are kind, the result is less so, which you are no doubt aware of, since you always seem to find yourself apologizing the next day.

Miss Manners will further remind you that there is still at least a 12-hour gap where your hosts are wondering, “What happened to the McCutcheons? I hope they are all right.” Or worse, “Did we offend them somehow?”

Miss Manners suggests a compromise. At the beginning of the party, tell your hosts that you hope they will forgive you in advance, but you will need to slip out early. That way, there can be no doubt that you have not suddenly taken ill — or that one of their other guests insulted you.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to [email protected], or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.