This is an opinion cartoon.

No real snakes or snake handlers were harmed in the production of this cartoon.

Lordy. Christian nationalism has taken hold of the Alabama State Legislature. GOP lawmakers are frantically trying to preach slithery sermons into laws that will baptize heathens into submission.

Or burn them at the stake.

Before you get your knickers in a knot, Christian nationalism is not the same as Christianity. Christianity is about the Golden Rule and treating others the way you want to be treated. It’s the inclusive ‘What Would Jesus Do’ stuff. All the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion stuff that has been demonized by …

Christian nationalism.

Christian nationalists use Jesus as a tool to politicize the government. To force their specific extreme conservative beliefs. On everybody. It’s been tried and tested in Alabama for a while now.

I was brought up in a fundamentalist non-snake handling God-fearing family, but taught to respect all faiths. To put things in perspective, if Pentacostal snake handlers rose to power and was in charge of the government, would the rest of us be forced to play hot potato with copperheads and rattlesnakes every Sunday?

Christian nationalism’s script for political power and domination of its enemies is printed in a book. Maybe you’ve read it. Spoiler alert: It ain’t the Bible.

It’s a near thousand-page document called Project 2025.

This is not the ‘separation of church and state’ America most of us grew up with. It’s the flip side of the Taliban’s religious nationalism smirking at us in the mirror. It’s Putin nodding and winking. With a toddler traitor on his lap.

I’m handing the digital microphone to John Archibald. Check out his column on this topic: Alabama quadruples down on putting God in schools

Here are some excerpts:

“Churches break off and divide every time somebody in some pew gets a bee in his or her bonnet. Christianity alone is split by denominations and sects and cults, not to be confused with sex cults.

“Some people swear by a loving god – which might break one of the Commandments, now that I think of it. Others worship a jealous god, a hands-on god, or a creator who just put things in motion and stepped away. Heck, there’s even a god that picks winners of football games, according to the Church of the Sideline Interview.

“I’ve been on the other side of that god a few times.

“Alabama is consistently ranked among the nation’s leaders in per capita church attendance and religiosity. It is sometimes tied with Mississippi for No. 1, the inverse of historic education rankings.

“You’d think we had this god thing covered.

“But no. Six bills are currently being considered in the Alabama Legislature that would seek to embed religion in schools.

“HB 231 would demand daily Judeo-Christian prayer. School districts that don’t bow down risk losing 25% of their state funding, which in Alabama’s largest district would mean a $100 million cut.

“HB 179 would let schools hire chaplains, or accept volunteer chaplains. Because what could go wrong? Both HB 178 and HB 179 are sponsored by Rep./Rev. Mark Gidley, the pastor of Faith Worship Center in Glencoe.

“HB 342 and Senate companion SB 229 would allow schools to give elective credit for students who “attend religious instruction during the day.” Those who participate “shall be credited with time spent as if the student attended school.”

“As if.

“The sponsor of SB229 is Sen. Shay Shelnutt, a proud member of Palmerdale Methodist Church, which like many others split with the United Methodists over differences in doctrine.

“SB166 and HB 178 would require all public schools and colleges to display the Ten Commandments on site (as if politicians followed those), though they will get no state money to do it. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s tax money.

“The thing is, legislating religion in schools is fantastic if you happen to be an evangelical Christian, like about four in 10 Alabamians. It’s a little less fantastic if you happen to be a Christian of a different sort, or Jewish or Muslim.

“And to hell with you if you have a different kind of -ism. Or if you simply don’t want your kid learning theology from some rando or zealot picked by a politician.

“I mean, no offense to zealots, but I don’t want them teaching religion to my kids, any more than they want me teaching religion to theirs.

“At the end of the day, religion is a divisive concept. I thought the Legislature already outlawed those.”

And then there’s this story from Heather Gann:

Receiving an abortion in Alabama could lead to life in prison under proposed law

Lord help us. Bless the snakes and pass ‘em around. Amen.

Check out more cartoons and stuff by JD Crowe

JD Crowe is the cartoonist for AL.com. He won the RFK Human Rights Award for Editorial Cartoons in 2020. In 2018, he was awarded the Rex Babin Memorial Award by the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists. Follow JD on Facebook, Twitter @Crowejam and Instagram @JDCrowepix. Give him a holler at [email protected].

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