One does not simply walk onto the pristine sands of Perdido Key and begin flinging dead fish into a neighboring state.

Then again, maybe one could, but people would look at you funny. Because there’s a right way to do this thing, and it involves a few decades of tradition, a lot of moving parts, rules and measurements and judges and an audience of thousands. It’s known as the Flora-Bama Interstate Mullet Toss & Gulf Coast’s Greatest Beach Party, and it takes place this weekend on the beach behind the famed Flora-Bama.

For anyone intent on participating, or just watching, the folks at the Flora-Bama have posted copious information on their website: Both general information and an exhaustive list of Frequently Asked Questions. No primer can cover every possibility: This is the Flora-Bama, after all, and you never know when something like The Great Brassiere Avalanche of 2021 might happen. But here’s a quick rundown of Mullet Toss essentials.

Where:

The whole deal with the Flora-Bama is that it’s on the beach at the Alabama-Florida line. But if you must have something more precise, it’s at 17401 Perdido Key Dr. On-site parking is limited. There’s no event shuttle option, and organizers encourage patrons to consider arriving via rideshare service.

When:

Hey, just because we’re hurling dead fish and maybe drinking a few bushwackers doesn’t mean this is some kind of anything-goes chaos. There’s a detailed daily schedule.

On Friday and Saturday, April 28-29, it goes like this. Gates open at 9 a.m., registration and the kids’ toss starts at 10. Adults begin throwing at noon; owners and celebrities toss at 4 p.m. According to the FAQ, kids’ toss finals are at 2:30 p.m. and adult finals are at 4:30. Mixed in with all that, music starts at 11 a.m., there’s a hot body contest at 1 p.m. and a bikini contest at 3 p.m.

Sunday’s schedule is very similar, according to the FAQ, but doesn’t feature the hot body and bikini contests.

This maybe could go without saying, but the schedule is written in sand. Decisions made on the spot by organizers may change the timetable, so hang loose and pay attention.

Why:

To say you did. And to benefit local charities. Organizers say more than $40,000 in registration fees is donated every year to various groups such as the Boys and Girls Clubs of Escambia and Florida counties.

Speaking of registration fees, it’s $20 to toss a mullet, and that includes a T-shirt. The Flora-Bama’s cover charge is $10 per day for adults 21 and up, $15 per day for 16- to 20-year-olds, free for those 15 and younger – but after 6 p.m. no one under 21 is admitted. The venue’s bars operate on a cash-only basis during Mullet Toss weekend, but there are ATMs on-site.

How:

When it’s your turn, you’ll select a dead mullet from a supply kept handy in a couple of coolers. How you throw it is up to you, but you can’t wear gloves and you can’t “accidentally” drop it to pick up some sand and give yourself a better grip. If you do, you’ll have to wash off the fish and your hand. Some people throw tomahawk-style, some try folding the fish in half for a secure launch, some just grab the fish by the middle and heave. No matter what you do, your mullet is a slippery thing that only weighs a few ounces and doesn’t fly in a particularly aerodynamic way. Lots of throwers barely get the fish past their own toes. But if you do it right and the wind isn’t against you, tosses of well over 150 feet are possible.

By the time you toe the line for your throw, you will have heard the MC remind dozens of competitors that they have to go pick up their fish after the throw and bring it back to the cooler. In the heat of battle you’ll probably forget this yourself, and he’ll have to remind you to do it too.

What next:

If you really pulled a fish-flinging flop, that’ll be $20 for another shot. Otherwise you can join the crowd of onlookers, or go sample the live music happening on multiple stages. It’s not all about the mullet.

More on Mullet Toss:

Mullet Toss 2021: Fish fly at the Flora-Bama despite threat of storms

‘Everything I dreamed of’: Tossing dead fish draws big crowds to Flora-Bama at 2022 Mullet Toss