Editor’s note: The Press-Register holds exclusive global rights to reportage of the Masked Observer, a mysterious denizen of the leisure class who covers the local Mardi Gras scene.

Have you ever listened to a friend or loved one tell you about their vacation over a few glasses (or bottles!) of wine? The Masked One is blessed with many friends, and the way to stay in his good graces is to be concise and to the point, not to count out how many times the gondolier’s oar broke the Venetian canal’s surface, for example.

And the Observer wants to remain on his audience’s good side, as well. Why else would the post office continue to deliver to Goat Island if not for all the wedding invites, Christmas cards and death threats? So, considering the Crewe d’Observe carved its way through at least six Carnival celebrations over the last week, we’ll endeavor to share only the highlights.