Blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah. (Blah blah blah blah blah? Blah blah blah blah blah.)

Most readers aren’t sitting on the edge of their seat reading the intro to a food list. They scroll right down to the list and the food. With that in mind, we’re gonna cut the fanfare for once and get right to AL.com’s picks for the top five places for hamburgers in Huntsville, Alabama. Our Birmingham best burgers list dropped Monday and Mobile’s coming Wednesday. We recently feted Huntsville’s best barbecue and best pizza.

For this burger list, we’re sticking to businesses with a Huntsville address, and we’re not including national/regional chains. Your top five local burgers list might be wildly different than ours. And that’s cool, because many Huntsville spots serve a tasty burger. Now let’s do this.

MORE: Birmingham’s best burgers: Our Top 5

5. LITTLE DINER

1219 Jordan Lane N.W., Huntsville, facebook.com

The Little Diner’s signature burger doesn’t involve any snooty razzle-dazzle. It’s just a well-executed, big-and-tall-sized backyard burger. Two luscious-plump patties, tomato, onion, American cheese, lettuce, mayo and mustard. A Happy Burger isn’t a handful. It’s two handfuls. Given the Happy Burger’s girth, it’s funny the place that serves it’s named Little Diner. But that’s an apt appellation for this eatery, located in the corner of a time-worn commercial strip near a Chuck E. Cheese. The place is tiny. Particularly the front half, which is in an old-school diner configuration. The staff here is soulful, cool and worthy of their own workplace-set prestige TV show.

What to order: The Happy Burger is a Huntsville culinary right of passage. Versions tricked out with kimchi or slaw are also available. If you’re feeling un-burger, Little Dinner also makes a mean pot roast.

READ: Little Diner’s gargantuan Happy Burger lives up to its rep

4. PURVEYOR

201 Jefferson St. N., churchstreetfamily.com/restaurants/purveyor

Now going for around $25, the Purveyor Burger costs more than I paid to see Guns N’ Roses on the “Use Your Illusion” tour. Live GN’R was way more epic, but for a burger this thing rocks too. Sticker shock is understandable, especially since this is Huntsville and not, say, Atlanta. We eat with our eyes first, and the Purveyor Burger isn’t visually overwhelming. But once you bite into a Purveyor Burger — made from a blend of posh Wagyu and ribeye — you’ll know exactly where the money went. I’ve never had a burger melt in my mouth like that. Rich and succulent. 3D natural flavor. The tasteful/subtle fixings include truffle aioli, Bibb lettuce, heirloom tomato and onions. Soft buttery roll. Located downtown, the Purveyor restaurant is upscale but warm. Dimmed lighting. Exposed brick. Tufted booths. Purveyor is run by Stephanie and Matt Mell, the talented Huntsville restaurateurs behind ventures including Catacomb435, Sea Salt Urban Oyster Bar and more.

What to order: If you’re down with the cow, the Purveyor Burger’s the move. They also do steak, creative small plate (think soft shell crab bao bun) and seafood.

READ: Here’s what the most expensive hamburger in Huntsville tastes like

3. ALE’S KITCHEN

2610 Clinton Ave. W., Huntsville, https://straighttoale.com/ales-kitchen/

Anyone who attended middle school during “Stranger Things”-era yesteryears will experience déjà vu upon entering Straight to Ale. STA is housed inside the former Stone Middle School (which itself was formerly home to Butler High School). Their brewing setup is located in the school’s old basketball gym. Suds-wise, Straight to Ale is known for their Monkeynaut India Pale Ale, also the city’s signature beer. Ale’s Kitchen is STA’s in-house food op. They serve everything from tacos to Cuban sandwiches to pizzas. The menu also boasts compelling burgers, including the El Diablo (ideal for heat-seekers), Classic American (the missionary position of hamburgers), Beyond Burger (house-made plant-based patty) and Bistro Burger.

What to order: Visually, the Bistro Burger has a lot going on. Crispy onion straws spilling off like they’ve had too many Monkeynauts. Thick-cut bacon protruding out in a way that feels like the burger’s sticking its tongue out, daring you to eat this ½ pound burger in one sitting. It’s an overwhelming burger but in the best way. More is more. More textures. More flavors. Rustic yet refined. And allocate at least some space for the excellent hand-cut fries.

READ: 6 Huntsville craft beers for beer drinkers who don’t like craft beer

2. SUPPER HEROES

1812 Winchester Road N.E., Huntsville, facebook.com

Present day. A mild-mannered building 15 minutes from downtown Huntsville. Inside, alter-ego is shed, and the true identity is revealed … Comic-book themed eatery Supper Heroes! While Heroes’ cozy interior may not rival the Batcave, its like a dream-sequence mancave for nerds. Framed issues of “Daredevil,” “The Fantastic Four” and “Moon Knight” adorn the walls. Overhead lights shine through symbols of characters like Spider-Man and The Flash. There’s a game room with Ms. Pac-Man and a pile of action figures I didn’t spend a few minutes playing with. There’s also “Star Wars” stuff and a framed autographed photo of the only Wonder Woman who matters, the immortal Lynda Carter. Even the food menu looks rad. It’s designed like a comic-book with action-packed artwork from J. Simmons to describe the fare, which focuses on burgers, wraps, salads and apps.

What to order: The “Huntsvillain” is the archnemesis of boring burgers. It’s a sweet-heat supernova, summoning the powers of fried jalapenos, pepper jelly, pepper jack cheese to transport the tender burger and grilled brioche bun to stratospheric yum. For some extra after-credits-scene coolness, add some of the luscious accompany coleslaw to the burger. If you dare …

READ: How Marvel movies impact some Huntsville small businesses

1. PEPPERED PIG

1305 Four Mile Post Road S.E., Huntsville, pepperedpig.net

It’s a long way to the top if you want to make Huntsville’s best burger. Married couple Shawn and Lacy Duvall have lived that. They spent 10 years slinging sandwiches from inside their South Huntsville food trailer, Peppered Pig. Finally, after three years of looking for the right space, Peppered Pig made the leap to a Jones Valley brick-and-mortar location. Shawn’s food concepts have always been clever, tasty and hearty. But now they’re plated and not just wrapped-up to-go (as many mobile food ventures do) they look as good as they taste. In addition to an array of burgers, Peppered Pig essentials include their “knuckle sandwich” (house-roasted roast beef, pesto, fried-onion, tomato, provolone). The secret ingredient to everything on the menu? Shawn, a former mechanic turned food-industry lifer, and Lacy, a former regional manager, never take for granted their food-trailer customers followed them here. And each day’s is a new chance to make new regulars.

What to order: The Bulgogi Burger. Korean barbecue sauce marinated burger, topped with fried sesame sushi cake, with kimchi, garlic mayo and grilled scallions on a soft-yet-stable ciabatta bun. Flavor and texture for days. I’m smiling now just thinking about it.

READ: Huntsville’s next great burger place is already here

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