This is an opinion column.

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Alabama politicians have created an embarrassing problem for the state.

I realize that sentence could be used just about every week (day?) when trying to make sense of the things that go for statecraft in Montgomery, but this time I’m willing to predict that discomforting bewilderment and the triggering of loathsome annoyance will be equitably distributed throughout Alabama’s diverse population of experiences and cultural viewpoints and that no one will be excluded.

Because, let’s be honest, Alabamians have their differences, but the one thing that we can all agree upon is that we really love college football.

To that end, anything that could threaten the state’s ability to field eligible college football teams seems to be a bad idea. For example, this latest proposed bill outlawing DEI programs at state-funded universities.

Seriously, y’all, I go on vacation for like three days and come back to Sen. Katie Britt grossly misrepresenting Alabama kitchens and the Montgomery sock puppets trying their best to kill college sports.

Before we get to the sports, someone’s gotta have a talk with Senator Britt.

Senator Britt, listen, I don’t care about your politics, or anyone’s politics for that matter, but if you go on national television again without cast iron prominently represented in your kitchen, then we’re confiscating your season tickets. If you need a proper skillet, please, just let me know and I’ll hook you up. Oh, yeah, and could you maybe do us all a favor and straighten out this mess about anti-DEI running through the state legislature?

It has been brought to my attention that there is a nonsensical, cancerous bill moving through the malignant guts of Alabama’s legislature that could, turns out, put university athletics departments in a major jam. And when we say jam, we mean maybe not being able to compete in sports.

The proposed bill, which has already passed through the Alabama House of Representatives, could make university compliance departments illegal. That’s a problem because universities are required to have compliance departments to be full members of the NCAA.

The bill is a train wreck waiting to happen, in other words, and needs to be killed immediately. If not, and the NCAA doesn’t fit the mission of Alabama anymore, then I guess there’s always the ol’ Alabama Independent School Association to fall back on.

The AISA was formed back in 1970 to give the state’s segregation academies a league of their own, so to speak, or are we not supposed to speak about that at all anymore? When so-called “divisive concepts” form the backbone of a state’s history it’s hard to avoid all the topics.

DEI stands for diversity, equity and inclusion. What’s so troublesome about DEI? Well, nothing. DEI attracts people to successful organizations or businesses and makes us all stronger together because we bring different perspectives to the conversation. Alabama football comes to mind. I always enjoy my talks with Nick Saban’s former players. One thing everyone appreciated about their time playing on those teams was the wide collection of different cultures from all over the country.

The differences made Alabama better as a whole. I’d like to think that this is the inherent idea behind 50 different states and one great nation, but apparently for some people in Alabama DEI concepts are just another way to promote fear and confusion through identity politics.

The entire bill causes headaches for the state, but this section is a special kind of stupid: “A state agency, local board of education, or public institution of higher learning may not do any of the following: (1) sponsor any diversity, equity or inclusion program, or maintain any office, physical location or department that promotes diversity, equity and inclusion programs…”

Considering the NCAA and the Southeastern Conference (not to mention the entire spirit of education) pretty much exist to do things like promote DEI, then that’s a problematic conflict for everyone involved with collegiate sports in the state of Alabama.

Let’s not get lost in the weeds on this thing and waste our time dissecting the specifics of an awful bill devised to score cheap political points. The entire thing is absurd and offensive. Back in 2020, the SEC used its considerable power to influence state politics in Mississippi and promote inclusion. Mississippi’s old state flag featured Confederate iconography. The SEC said change it or else and Mississippi quickly did. Considering the SEC is located in Birmingham, I’d expect commissioner Greg Sankey to make a few calls about this latest bit of Alabama political malarkey.

Would Sankey move the SEC headquarters out of Alabama if this bill isn’t killed? It’s something to consider. How could the SEC maintain a presence in a state that writes bills into law making DEI programs illegal? The answer is pretty simple, it couldn’t. I also imagine the NCAA will not be awarding any regional or national championships to the state anytime soon either.

Instead of imagining a world without college football in Alabama (never going to happen), let’s use this opportunity to ask some important questions. Why are state legislators actively hurting the state’s image and its ability to attract outside talent? I’m not talking just about football players from all over the country. I mean businesses and people who want to create better lives for themselves and their families.

Alabama should be attracting diversity and fostering inclusivity as public policy instead of fighting to keep it away. What’s next, Alabama anti-DEI nut jobs standing in the schoolhouse door?

Let’s not allow talentless politicians to continue holding Alabama back. There’s a reason why it only takes one well-seasoned cast iron skillet to cook everything in the kitchen. No matter the dish, the combination of different flavors coalesce to always make it better.

SOUND OFF

Got a question about DEI and college football, spring practice in the SEC or college basketball? Want to get something off your chest? Send Joe a question about what’s on your mind for the weekly mailbag. Let your voice be heard. Ask him anything.

Joseph Goodman is the lead sports columnist for the Alabama Media Group, and author of the most controversial sports book ever written, “We Want Bama”.