Dear Annie: I’m a 47-year-old woman, and I’ve been with my boyfriend, “Greg,” for almost six years. I’m really happy with him, and I am at the point where I really can’t imagine being with anyone else. There’s just one thing: He has not proposed, and I don’t know if he ever will.

It’s gotten to the point where I feel almost desperate for him to propose, but I don’t want to ruin what we have by pushing him away. I also don’t want to waste any more years in a relationship that doesn’t have a future.

I brought it up once with him, and he sort of brushed it off, saying, “One day, when the time is right.” But I’m starting to feel like “one day” might never come? He was married once before and had a messy divorce, and I noticed he always does seem a little bitter about the whole concept. Whenever someone we know gets engaged, he’ll make a comment like, “Let’s see how long that lasts.”

Recently, several friends and family members have asked when we’re getting married, and it’s so embarrassing to me that I don’t have an answer. One friend advised me to give him an ultimatum, but I’m too scared it’ll backfire. I love him and don’t want to lose him, and I know he loves me, too.

How can I bring up marriage in a way that doesn’t feel like I’m pressuring him but lets him know how important this is to me? Am I wrong for wanting this commitment, or should I just be happy to be in this good relationship? — Waiting and Wondering

Dear Waiting and Wondering: For some people, marriage is the ultimate symbol of love and commitment. Others could take it or leave it. Still others are fundamentally opposed to it, arguing they don’t need paperwork to prove their love.

The only way to figure out Greg’s stance is to talk to him directly. It sounds like he is holding onto some bitterness and fear from his first marriage, which can be worked through with communication and the help of a good therapist.

If marriage is a nonnegotiable for you, tell Greg sooner rather than later. You don’t want to stay with somebody who can’t ultimately give you what you want.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].