Dear Annie: A few years ago, I responded to a letter in your column from a widower, “Missing Love,” who wanted to date again but felt it was a “problem” that he still loved his late wife. I said it was not a problem, but a blessing, and if he ever did find love again, it would exist alongside his love for his wife, not replace it. That was my theory, anyway. I was a widow of four years who was NOT looking for love! But here is my update.

I decided to join an online dating site six years after my husband died, when my life was finally happy and fulfilling as it was. I wasn’t looking to be rescued or taken care of, so I could date lightheartedly: I had no expectations but nothing to lose, either, so it was easy.

I met a few men who didn’t click, and then, three months in, I met a wonderful man who instantly did! His wife had also died six years before. We married six months later. We found “The Princess Bride” style true love, much to our continuing amazement.

I can say from experience now that indeed, the new love lives happily beside the old, which is not at all diminished or set aside. We speak easily and with great fondness of our first spouses, and our families and longtime friends are most happy for us. I hope “Missing Love” has the same great good fortune. — Buttercup

Dear Buttercup: Thank you for sharing your sweet story. It’s truly a testament to the fact that we can experience and celebrate new relationships while still treasuring ones that have come before. When it comes to love, there’s always room for a second chance.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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