Dear Annie: Whatâs the best way to stop a bully?

Dear Annie: This is addressed to the many people who have written to you on the subject of being bullied.

Have you noticed that most, if not all, bullies ply their trade to impress their peers? Bullies bully to gain the attention and approval of someone or some group. They usually pick on someone they think won’t fight back — someone they consider weak.

Witnesses usually look the other way. The only way to stop bullies is for witnesses (in most cases, their own peers) to show disapproval in no uncertain terms. Don’t encourage bullies! When you witness bullying, speak up. If someone else speaks up, support them. Unfortunately, the only way to stop a bully is to, for the moment at least, be a bigger bully. — Great Grandpa Bill

Dear Great Grandpa Bill: I love your analysis of bullying. Conventional wisdom is that the best way to stop a bully is for children who are being bullied to stick up for themselves. But that is often too difficult for them, which is why your analysis is so perceptive — to encourage others to stick up to the bully on behalf of the child being bullied. My guess is that if the victim of the bully were to see his or her peers showing disapproval, it might give them a little courage to stick up for themselves.

At the end of the day, there is power in numbers, so let’s put that power toward kindness and helping each other. One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Einstein: “The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.”

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].