Dear Annie: What is the polite way to turn down those who ask for money on the streets?

Dear Annie: I live on the West Coast where the unhoused population continues to increase every year, along with a massive fentanyl addiction issue. I am well aware that not all unhoused people are addicts, but I also have enough experience interacting with this subset of the community to know that many of the people who walk around asking for money do have an addiction, whether it may be fentanyl, alcohol or something else.

My question is whether you have a suggested response that conveys “no” without saying “sorry”? I feel very weird apologizing for not giving money to these people who I have a very specific reason to not give money to, but “sorry” is the only response I have observed from family, friends and co-workers when out and about. And, admittedly, as a woman sometimes walking alone, it doesn’t always feel like “no” is necessarily a safe choice, as it seems like it could be perceived as confrontational by the asker (and I also admit that could be in my head, as I haven’t been willing to try!).

Do you think a “no” by itself could be fine, or do you have another suggestion? — Donating to Charity, not Addiction

Dear Donating to Charity: I do think a “no” can be a bit harsh to say to someone who is asking you for money on the streets, but you are right to donate to charity rather than street hustlers. Addiction is a disease, and many of these people are suffering very terrible symptoms of the disease, and they won’t get any treatment if they stay on the streets. “I’m sorry” might be a slightly more polite way to turn down a sick person who is struggling to live.

You might consider getting involved in community affairs or local politics, where homelessness has become a major issue, not just in the state you live in but across the nation.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].