Dear Annie: I have two grown children. My daughter has a boyfriend, and I just don’t get along with him. He’s a military veteran, and he served during the Iraq conflict and was honorably discharged. His name is “John.”

I am also a military veteran and served for 20 years.

My daughter has mentioned that John sees a mental health provider at the VA hospital. I also get medical care at the VA hospital and with mental health providers.

My daughter and I are on good terms, but we have had conflicts over her boyfriend. I currently don’t speak to her boyfriend, and we don’t attend the same family gatherings so that we won’t run into each other. My son and daughter get along very well.

I don’t want to be in this situation with John. He’s very reserved and has mentioned that he has been diagnosed with PTSD. In the past, when he attended our family gatherings, he sat in a corner of the house and didn’t want to interact with any of us.

I tried to be understanding and make him feel welcome, but he doesn’t reciprocate at all. I know now to just let it be, but I think it’s too late for me to make amends with John.

I’m 64 and my way of thinking is, life is short, and I want to embrace my whole family, including John. I don’t know how to approach John and get along with him. I love reading your column. Please advise. — Concerned Mom in Texas

Dear Concerned Mom: PTSD can make social situations overwhelming for John, which might explain his withdrawal during family gatherings. It’s not a reflection on you or your efforts at hospitality.

The best way to embrace John is to simply make an effort. Stop avoiding him. Initiate a conversation. The fact that you share a military background could be a starting point for finding common ground.

If he doesn’t respond in kind, know that it isn’t personal. Even if he doesn’t appreciate your efforts, your daughter certainly will.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].