Dear Annie: I have never sent in anything to a column before, but I’d like to say something from a grandkid’s perspective about “Brokenhearted Grandma.”

I do not acknowledge my grandmother unless I have to because we are usually in the same room. I will not go out of my way to talk to her. I actively avoid any situation where that would be a necessity. “Brokenhearted Grandma” sounded just like mine.

But the other side of the story is that she’s a horrible person. She sent us “lavish” gifts, but she was never there. She made no effort to be in our lives growing up, and she bashes both my sister and me as “the failure kids,” despite lucrative careers and a solid base in life.

She is narcissistic, conniving and pouts when she doesn’t get her way. She tries to play victim — like your letter writer — all the time. She and my grandfather were emotionally abusive and dismissive of all of their kids, and it took until this year for my mom to finally realize that none of us could stand her mother and that our grandmother acts like a spoiled 16-year-old.

There are so many instances I could name, but for the sake of argument, just remember, there are two sides to every story, and not all grandkids like this are lazy. Sometimes, they actually want nothing to do with a relative, and because we’re adults, we can make the decision to cut toxic people out of our lives. And it’s not like she’s not aware of it, but she plays the victim card very well. — The Other Side of the Coin

Dear Other Sign of the Coin: Every family situation is different, and if your grandmother is all those things you say, I don’t blame you for wanting to ignore her. Hearing about the other person’s perspectives is always important.

Dear Annie: One of my sisters has been monitoring my bank account online for a while now. I don’t monitor her account or our brother’s account, so I have no idea why she is doing this. To me, it is a major violation of my privacy, and so I feel disrespected.

To stop her from doing it, I went to my bank recently and had them close the existing account and open up a new one.

Hopefully, this will put an end to my sister’s 100% uncalled for treatment.

What is your take on this situation, Annie? — Coping with a Snoopy Sister

Dear Snoopy Sister: Your bank account is none of her business, and her snooping is a huge violation of your privacy. I don’t understand how your sister was even granted access to YOUR bank account in the first place. Regardless, you handled it well by opening a new account.

But what’s up with your sister? If you haven’t asked her, I would suggest that you have a serious conversation with her.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].

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