Dear Annie: A dear friend’s daughter was married last year, and we selected a beautiful wedding gift.

After six months, I inquired of her mother if the gift was received. She said others have been asking the same; the new husband did not like how the bride wrote the thank-you notes, and they were never sent.

Now a baby is coming. I am cringing when I look at the mail. Is a shower invitation on its way? More gifts? I feel used. What should I do? — Hesitant

Dear Hesitant: It sounds like you’re feeling preemptively stressed over a situation that hasn’t yet occurred.

Try to focus on the present.

If you do receive an invitation, just remember that gifts are an expression of your goodwill, not a requirement. If the lack of a thank-you note still stings and affects your willingness to contribute further, it’s OK to politely decline the invitation.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].