Dear Annie: Someone is giving me presents that I donât want

Dear Annie: I always enjoy sharing my baked goods and also my soups with my neighbors. Some will return the favor by making items for me. I never expect them to reciprocate, though I know I always try to reciprocate when people do things for me.

I’m writing to you because now someone is giving me presents that I really don’t want. I am always thankful, but I do not like any of the items. I know I need to be thankful. But I do not like to lie, and I would rather have just a thanks for my baked goods and soups instead of thank-you gifts that I do not like at all!

Normally, I would just donate the items to a church, but I am too afraid that this friend will be looking for me to use the items. And, of course, I do not want to hurt her feelings. What is your suggestion? — You Shouldn’t Have

Dear You Shouldn’t Have: “The true purpose of a gift is to be received,” writes minimalist expert Marie Kondo in her bestselling “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” and I couldn’t agree more. When someone gives you an unwanted gift, receive it gratefully; recognize the warm-hearted intention behind it; and write them a thank-you note. Then donate it (or return it, if they’ve included a gift receipt) without guilt. If you want to head off future unwanted gifts from this friend, simply tell her: “I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but you really do not need to get me anything. Your friendship is enough.” If she’s been spending money on the items she’s giving you, and if she seems determined to continue doing so, you might politely tell her that you have more than enough material things but that you’d love to see more donations to a charity you support.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].