Dear Annie: Should I ask my father-in-law to contribute to expenses while heâs living with us?

Dear Annie: My father-in-law has been living with us for the past two years, as he is in the process of buying a new house. The housing market has been tough, and it’s taken longer than expected. What was at first going to be a six-month stay has extended well beyond.

My father-in-law pays no expenses and instead continues to save money from two retirements. Is it wrong for us to have the conversation about helping with expenses now? The cost of everything has gone up, and it feels like a child staying with us. He is helpful with household chores and handyman work, but that doesn’t negate the expenses we are continuing to incur with a third person in our household. I am very frustrated at this point with the entire situation. Any advice would be most helpful. — FIL as Roommate

Dear FIL as Roommate: It’s your house. Of course it is within your rights to have a conversation with your father-in-law regarding his stay. I would ask him what his timeline is for finding a new place and explain to him that the cost of housing a third person is continuing to rise. It is perfectly reasonable and expected for him to contribute to the household in some capacity — whether it’s buying groceries, paying rent or taking on more household work.

Consult with your spouse before having this conversation to make sure you are both on the same page in terms of what you are asking for and how to best communicate with him.

View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].