Dear Annie: Setting boundaries with an elderly neighbor

Dear Annie: I live in a condo complex, where we all own our individual condos.

Recently, I redid my kitchen to include a dishwasher. My next-door neighbor, who is elderly, found out and asked if I wouldn’t mind putting a couple of dishes in with mine as she says that it is hard for her to stand at her sink and do them by hand.

At first, I didn’t mind, but it’s gotten out of control.

She now wants me to come over and collect her dirty dishes, put them in my dishwasher and then return them to her. I feel guilty because she is elderly, but this has gotten completely out of control.

How do I tell her no without being a “bad” neighbor? Please help! — Freeloading Neighbor

Dear Freeloading Neighbor: The reason she is taking advantage of your kindness is because you are kind.

You were very generous with her in the beginning, but she took advantage of your kindness and now that has to stop.

If you don’t politely stop her now, laundry might be next. Just know that having boundaries is not unkind, and let yourself off the hook.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].